The Tightrope

So it's been a while. . . it's been a crazy, uh, 2019.  But I want to record this for myself at least before it leaves my brain.

I think a good way for me to look at the past few years is that there's been this tight rope, and falling off on one side is a hole of depression and sadness, dissociation from the present because all that matters is what happened.  And then the other side is the manic, high energy, push too far and don't deal with life because you're too busy, dissociation from the past.  I've really only had balance for a long period of time a couple years ago, and then there have just been moments. . . the end of 2018 was definitely a manic thing, and once I realized it, I swayed back but I think too far to the other side. . . and maybe because as I am on this tight rope, I'm still holding the grief rock.  And it keeps changing.

No conclusions tonight, just a random image.  And 16 more recitals before tour before a cabaret before a few weeks off.