I don't know that there will be any real focus or continuity to any of this, so I apologize in advance.
First, at the end of this week, I'll have officially lived in Florida for a year and a half (18 months to the day).
As I got home this evening from a rather full Sunday (church, a HS Broadway review over in Daytona Beach, back to church for a business meeting, and then dinner with the "fam"), I decided I didn't want to spent the remainder of my evening in my apartment (even if it is quite a bit cleaned up again!), so I got in my car and went for a walk/run around Lake Victoria. I think deep in my heart, I am a country boy. I love the outside, and though I know absolutely nothing about gardening, farming, horses, or any such thing, I can imagine myself being very content living out in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of "empty" land all around. I enjoy my time in big cities, but that's mostly because a)anytime I've been to one I haven't had to drive in it (and couldn't ever imagine doing so- definitely not aggressive enough) and b)I'm fascinated by the large buildings, but I'm also somewhat intimidated by them.
ANYWAY.
I enjoy spending time outside, especially after dark or early in the morning. So it was nice to get out. I've been thinking a lot lately about where I used to be. . . who I used to be. . . and where and who I am now. . . and who I'm becoming. . . and I've come up with a few things. First, I've got to come to terms that I can't change what I've done in my life and realize that EVERY SINGLE THING that has happened has led me to the place I am at now. It was all part of God's perfect plan for my life. . . and He's still in control! If someone would have told me at the time that this is the life I would have, that these are the people that would become important in my life, that this is the job that was waiting for me. . . I would have laughed at whoever told me all of this! And now I can't help but laugh for joy at all the ways He has provided for me! Little things, big things, unexpected things. . . I can't tell you how many times I've gone to take care of some unexpected expense (doctor's bill, car issue, etc) and had the exact amount needed in my wallet or checking account. I can't explain how perfect the various people I've met down here have filled in gaps in my life and provided support/entertainment/encouragement and allowed me to also care about and for them.
Second, I'm still trying to figure out my place and role at the point I am at right now. I have no idea what's going to happen with many different areas, but you know, it doesn't really matter. Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing right now? Am I spending each day to it's fullest, staying near to God and submitting to His will rather than taking things in my own hands? Are the activities I choose to fill my life with just "filler" or am I making them meaningful/purposeful? Are my interactions with people glorifying God? Not always easy questions to answer, but I think they're all important.
Third, it's January and I can go outside in shorts. What??
Finally, I was looking at the sky this evening (one of the rare cloudy evenings I've noticed) and picked out Orion through the clouds. I really want to find a large empty field without a lot of artificial lights around and gaze at the stars some evening. The sky is so clear down here (again, most of the time), and though I'm forced by occupation to get up super early, I'm still a night owl on the inside.
So. . . what's my point in all this?
Well, this is my life.
1/30/2011
1/26/2011
children's choir (. . . a week late)
TOTALLY DISTRACTED. I've spent an hour on this website and written. . . well, up to the asterisk.
I've been meaning to write this entry for a while, but life (and/or laziness. . . more later) has been getting in the way. So, I bring you back a week in my mind. . . .
We had a really good rehearsal in children's choir today. I was going back and thinking why that was so, and this is what I came up with:
-I had a good attitude about the music coming in (even if I didn't really like it at first).
-*I made the rehearsal a lot about music and developing musicality rather than just trying to make the kids happy with singing things they were interested. Best part? They listened and actually IMPROVED. (And they retained a lot of it through the week!)
-I held the kids to a high rehearsal standard just out of sheer purpose and hard work.
I love teaching kids through music. The equation doesn't work when that's out of balance, or when I throw myself/my preferences in there (I don't like this music, etc.). It's got to be about the kids, but it's got to be about the vehicle as well.
. . . that didn't sound as impressive as it felt, but trust me when I say they are good epiphanies, especially for this group. I want them to get a great experience learning about God and how to praise and worship Him through music. I know what impact it has had in my life. . . I wish I would have been more into singing at an earlier age/stuck with it after I "grew out" of the church musicals from MGBC.
In other news, I'm fighting a laziness/irresponsibility battle now, and not doing a good job of winning. I get a couple pyramids finally balanced, and out of nowhere a couple more start falling over again. Does life ever get to a point where everything is balanced, or at least pretty steady, so it doesn't feel like I'm always 3 steps behind and failing? I know I need to stop acting like I'm hopeless, and I also have decided that just because I'm frustrated doesn't mean I can't also be happy.
So the point of that is that I'm not unhappy, just frustrated.
Ah well. Psalm 90:17- "May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands."
Just gotta keep working.
I've been meaning to write this entry for a while, but life (and/or laziness. . . more later) has been getting in the way. So, I bring you back a week in my mind. . . .
We had a really good rehearsal in children's choir today. I was going back and thinking why that was so, and this is what I came up with:
-I had a good attitude about the music coming in (even if I didn't really like it at first).
-*I made the rehearsal a lot about music and developing musicality rather than just trying to make the kids happy with singing things they were interested. Best part? They listened and actually IMPROVED. (And they retained a lot of it through the week!)
-I held the kids to a high rehearsal standard just out of sheer purpose and hard work.
I love teaching kids through music. The equation doesn't work when that's out of balance, or when I throw myself/my preferences in there (I don't like this music, etc.). It's got to be about the kids, but it's got to be about the vehicle as well.
. . . that didn't sound as impressive as it felt, but trust me when I say they are good epiphanies, especially for this group. I want them to get a great experience learning about God and how to praise and worship Him through music. I know what impact it has had in my life. . . I wish I would have been more into singing at an earlier age/stuck with it after I "grew out" of the church musicals from MGBC.
In other news, I'm fighting a laziness/irresponsibility battle now, and not doing a good job of winning. I get a couple pyramids finally balanced, and out of nowhere a couple more start falling over again. Does life ever get to a point where everything is balanced, or at least pretty steady, so it doesn't feel like I'm always 3 steps behind and failing? I know I need to stop acting like I'm hopeless, and I also have decided that just because I'm frustrated doesn't mean I can't also be happy.
So the point of that is that I'm not unhappy, just frustrated.
Ah well. Psalm 90:17- "May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands."
Just gotta keep working.
1/08/2011
spiders, snakes, and scorpions
DISCLAIMER: Neither of these analogies are my brain children, but I ran across both of them last night and I wanted to share them, because I think they're pretty smart.
So, without further ado, spiders:
Creepy.
The story goes like this: a regular attendee to a prayer meeting says aloud the same prayer every night- "Lord, take care of the cobwebs in my life" (meaning, of course, those sins that seem to keep reappearing no matter how much or how often house cleaning gets done). Finally, one evening, after he says this prayer, another person in the room speaks up and says, "Lord, DON'T clean the cobwebs in his life. Kill the spider instead."
That is pretty smart. And how often do we act like that? "Lord, forgive my sins, but don't make me change the way I live." Although I doubt anyone would have the audacity to actually pray this, our attitudes often reflect this harsh statement. The symptoms are easily found, but too often we don't take the time to find the source, as this can be more of challenge. And sometimes, even when we find it, it can often be difficult to kill.
So, the challenge: think about the cobwebs in your life, and ask God to reveal to you the spider. Be prepared to search in some dark corners of your life. Then call on the Exterminator and have Him aid you in killing it.
And now, snakes:
And scorpions:
. . . sorry, I couldn't resist :)
This one stems from a parable straight out of the mouth of Jesus himself. The idea is that we need to ask for things from God, and He is happy to give them to us. However, the problem is that sometimes we think we are asking for fish or an egg, and we don't get it. Why? Because God knows that what we are actually asking for is a snake or a scorpion. And this is kind of neat- both fish and eggs provide sustenance. Both snakes and scorpions are capable (depending on the species, of course) to provide a poisonous death. The problem is that we sometimes don't realize that the things we ask for are really snakes in fish mail (to mix analogies). For all we know, the thing(s) we ask for might not be a part of His plan for us, even though we might be convinced about the apparent benefits of whatever it is.
So the challenge here is this: if you've been praying about something pretty consistently and feel like God is not giving you what you think you "need," ask God to show you if what you are asking for is a snake or a scorpion. God will provide; after all, He takes care of the birds and the flowers. That's not to say that anytime we don't get an immediate "yes" from God that it must be a "no," but it may be rather revealing if we start to actually submit to His will and seek to find the things in our life that conform to His plan, rather than thinking we know best and expecting God to be a gift-giving genie.
So there you go. Spiders, snakes, and scorpions.
So, without further ado, spiders:
Creepy.
The story goes like this: a regular attendee to a prayer meeting says aloud the same prayer every night- "Lord, take care of the cobwebs in my life" (meaning, of course, those sins that seem to keep reappearing no matter how much or how often house cleaning gets done). Finally, one evening, after he says this prayer, another person in the room speaks up and says, "Lord, DON'T clean the cobwebs in his life. Kill the spider instead."
That is pretty smart. And how often do we act like that? "Lord, forgive my sins, but don't make me change the way I live." Although I doubt anyone would have the audacity to actually pray this, our attitudes often reflect this harsh statement. The symptoms are easily found, but too often we don't take the time to find the source, as this can be more of challenge. And sometimes, even when we find it, it can often be difficult to kill.
So, the challenge: think about the cobwebs in your life, and ask God to reveal to you the spider. Be prepared to search in some dark corners of your life. Then call on the Exterminator and have Him aid you in killing it.
And now, snakes:
And scorpions:
. . . sorry, I couldn't resist :)
This one stems from a parable straight out of the mouth of Jesus himself. The idea is that we need to ask for things from God, and He is happy to give them to us. However, the problem is that sometimes we think we are asking for fish or an egg, and we don't get it. Why? Because God knows that what we are actually asking for is a snake or a scorpion. And this is kind of neat- both fish and eggs provide sustenance. Both snakes and scorpions are capable (depending on the species, of course) to provide a poisonous death. The problem is that we sometimes don't realize that the things we ask for are really snakes in fish mail (to mix analogies). For all we know, the thing(s) we ask for might not be a part of His plan for us, even though we might be convinced about the apparent benefits of whatever it is.
So the challenge here is this: if you've been praying about something pretty consistently and feel like God is not giving you what you think you "need," ask God to show you if what you are asking for is a snake or a scorpion. God will provide; after all, He takes care of the birds and the flowers. That's not to say that anytime we don't get an immediate "yes" from God that it must be a "no," but it may be rather revealing if we start to actually submit to His will and seek to find the things in our life that conform to His plan, rather than thinking we know best and expecting God to be a gift-giving genie.
So there you go. Spiders, snakes, and scorpions.
1/01/2011
Year-in-Review: 2010 and NYRs
Instead of copying and pasting full entries, I'm just going to put links that summarize each month of this past year.
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December
And some New Year's Resolutions! In no particular order. . .
-Make time for a daily devotional each night. Even in the really busy times, it is not fair for me to make excuses and avoid taking another 3-5 minutes to just stop and listen to what God wants to say to me. And I've found that those really busy weeks, I don't just skip one or two times, but the entire week, and then I get to the end of it wondering why everything feels so crazy, and then I realize my disconnect from the Head and proceed to hit myself in my own head.
-Exercise a few times a week. I know me and my schedule, and I know that if I say "I'm going to ______ everyday!" that that will never happen. Far too busy for a specific commitment in the realm of physical health. However, this gives me some freedom, because in my less busy weeks it will be easy to make time for it, and in my busier weeks I won't have the guilt factor of "I didn't do any real exercise (since I was busy for 17 hours today)." It's really more a commitment to making time for physical activity when possible.
-Finish "The Relationship Principles of Jesus" entries. That poor book has been sitting by my computer since this past summer. . . oops. I think I have about 11 or so entries to enter into the blog still. My bad.
-Clothe myself with love in all things. No excuses. There's never a reason not to be nice, no matter the situation. Breathe, and realize that God is there in all things and has planned all things.
I don't know when I'll start a new book project- that all depends on when I get the current (. . ."current") one completed.
Happy 2011!
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December
And some New Year's Resolutions! In no particular order. . .
-Make time for a daily devotional each night. Even in the really busy times, it is not fair for me to make excuses and avoid taking another 3-5 minutes to just stop and listen to what God wants to say to me. And I've found that those really busy weeks, I don't just skip one or two times, but the entire week, and then I get to the end of it wondering why everything feels so crazy, and then I realize my disconnect from the Head and proceed to hit myself in my own head.
-Exercise a few times a week. I know me and my schedule, and I know that if I say "I'm going to ______ everyday!" that that will never happen. Far too busy for a specific commitment in the realm of physical health. However, this gives me some freedom, because in my less busy weeks it will be easy to make time for it, and in my busier weeks I won't have the guilt factor of "I didn't do any real exercise (since I was busy for 17 hours today)." It's really more a commitment to making time for physical activity when possible.
-Finish "The Relationship Principles of Jesus" entries. That poor book has been sitting by my computer since this past summer. . . oops. I think I have about 11 or so entries to enter into the blog still. My bad.
-Clothe myself with love in all things. No excuses. There's never a reason not to be nice, no matter the situation. Breathe, and realize that God is there in all things and has planned all things.
I don't know when I'll start a new book project- that all depends on when I get the current (. . ."current") one completed.
Happy 2011!
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