Well, I had another episode of sleep paralysis this afternoon (if you don't know what that's all about, I wrote about it the last time I experienced SP over the course of three blog entries: part 1, part 2, part 3). This is what I wrote down right after it happened (not that I'm going to forget it anytime soon anyway):
I thought I heard my phone ringing, but it was very far away. . . so I tried to get up and found I was being held down on both arms. . . there were noises; high pitched whirring sounds. . . it felt like something was trying to wriggle into my right ear. . . hard to breathe. . . couldn't move (of course). . . I chose not to open my eyes and see what I might be hallucinating. . . I knew it was SP but I tried to fight anyway, because choosing to go back to sleep, although an effective technique to get out, is a scary choice to make. . .
It was encouraging for me to go back and reread those previous entries. . . I'm just wondering why it happened again. I don't want to fall into the trap of over-analysis, but I also don't want to leave myself open to spiritual attack. I don't know what I might be doing that is contributing to this happening, or if I have any real influence over it at all.
*sigh* God. . . I know you have a reason for this to happen to me. . . I just wish I knew what it was.
I need to update about other things, but not right now. And who knows? Maybe someday I'll even get back into the book review thing (not that I've stopped reading, but I haven't been reading with the purpose of blogging about it).
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