sleep paralysis, part 2

**If you don't believe in the presence of demons in our world today, I hope this entry at least makes you think. Please approach it with an open mind. Again, I don't claim to be an expert, but I know what I have experienced, and this is the explanation that makes the most sense to me.**

So, if you haven't looked at the video link from the last entry, you should go do that now. It's about 10 minutes long, but it gives the science behind all the aspects of SP. Some people think that science and religion don't mix, but I think that's absurd. In most cases, science explains the "How?" and God explains the "Why?" (the best example I can think of off hand is gravity- science explains how it is that when you drop an apple, it will fall towards the Earth, and it can even tell us that this will happen at 9.81 m/s², but WHY do all objects have a gravitational pull towards each other? That, or the whole existence of creation- that's a pretty big "Why?" that science tries to fill but can't). In the case of SP, we know that the body, during REM, sends out a chemical to paralyze the body and keep it from acting out large physical actions in dreams (and potentially harming ourselves), and that the part of the brain that control the feelings of motion and the fear center are highly active during REM sleep, and that when we awaken with sleep paralysis, we are simply experiencing the effects of stated observable/measurable data, but WHY? What purpose does it serve?

I truly believe (and I'm not alone- see websites below) that it's a small glimpse into the spiritual world and a direct "physical" attack of demons/fallen angels on humans (I say "physical" because it is really a more mental experience (and that is truly where the spiritual realm lies), but the physical aspect of it all is what makes it terrifying, with visions seen with the waking eyes and the paralysis itself). Various religions and belief systems have explained it in their own ways, from "the old hag" (referring to the hallucinating of an old woman, sometimes sucking the breath out of the victim- a common hallucination) to "the demon on my chest" (not being able to breathe) to the incubus and succubus (demons who come and to have sexual relations with the sleeper- I've found many descriptions of sexuality linked to SP incidents) to alien abductions (the feeling of being moved coupled with inexplicable sounds and shadowy hallucinations. . . yep, not as irrational an explanation as it might seem at first glance). Through the telling of my experience last night, this is how I explain it:

First off, I went to Grad Nite at Disney (which was a blast) but we got back much later than expected, and I had a rehearsal Saturday morning, so I didn't sleep (except for in and out of consciousness on the bus ride home) between 5:30 Friday morning and noon Saturday. I slept for about 12 hours, woke up and ate something, and went to the internet to check what was going on and fight off the disorientation of waking up at midnight. Pretty average computer use: facebook, blogs, e-mail, online games (armorgames.com is my newest time-waster/destresser), temptation to look at/for things I shouldn't (again, nothing out of the ordinary there, and thankfully resisted/conquered). For whatever reason I watched a short video about face make-up, and it talked about how to make a burnt face a la Freddy Krueger with spirit gum (spirit gum is AWFUL, for those of you with stage experience) (also, it's called spirit gum because it's made with some kind of alcohol (35A or something) and an adhesive- I had always wondered about that). I think the Krueger thing must have triggered the "sleep paralysis" memories in my brain, because I decided to search for a video that explained how it works (the video I posted? Yep, just found it about 13 hours ago. That's why in the entry previous I said that I probably set myself up for SP to happen). I also found this: SBC folks (and anybody else) should check these three videos out; I won't reveal anymore because I'M BIRDWALKING. Sorry. So, after all that, I went to bed around 4.

Sometime close to 5, I woke up in an uncomfortable position, with my torso twisted sideways towards my bedroom door (my bed is against two walls) but my legs somewhat flat against the bed, knees down (this is important later). I knew immediately I was in SP because I couldn't move out of that position. I did what I've done the past couple times, which is to just close my eyes, accept that SP is once again occurring but that nothing is going to harm me, and hopefully fall back asleep soon so that I can wake up legitimately (usually, it's SP-various scariness-close eyes-open them 30 to 60 seconds later-sit up in a cold sweat). A new factor happened this time though- I fell into a lucid dream (not to get too much into this concept, but basically they are very realistic dreams that we are in control of). I was in a neutral room with my kitty, and I was petting him, and I could feel the petting. Like, I really felt like I was petting him (later I discovered that I had actually taken my right arm and put it under my armpit and was rubbing my side, or at least I'm pretty sure that's what was happening). I'm not gonna lie, it was kind of awesome. It's no wonder that people turn to things like Healing Touch, Ouija boards, or Magick. However, after a little bit he jumped away from me onto a floating kitchen counter, and I woke BACK into SP. Not happy. I looked down at my feet and saw a red and green striped sweater, a clawed hand, and a burned face. Sweet. The creepy part is that "he" matched the shading and shadows of my room- the colors weren't out of place. Next thing I know, he's grabbing my legs, and it felt like it was dragging me closer to him. I turned my glance from it, and immediately scary sounds (shrill screeching and pulsating) harassed my left ear only (since this was the ear facing the spirit, I guess). Still feeling the "pull" and fighting to think through the noise, I asked God, "Please make him let go of me. Please make him let go." The sounds faded. I looked down again and he was still there, but the paralysis was slowly lifting off of my feet (again, a new experience: I could start to move my legs, but my arms and everything else were still out to lunch. Possibly an answer to prayer?). At this point my mind was finally starting to move a little too fast (up until this point I don't know if I had trouble breathing or not- there was a calmness in my mind (peace of Christ?) and I was just focusing on getting out of the paralysis and not giving Satan the pleasure of shaking me up as badly as I'm sure he wanted to) and I felt the start of suffocation. I cried out to God again, and it was gone. Hot sweat (it was pretty warm- no A/C for me yet). Movement returned to my whole body. No creature at the end of my bed. No sounds. No problem breathing.

I have more to say, but I have to get going, so this is good for now. Here are a few last thoughts, but be sure to check this out again (the UNFINISHED from the title will disappear when I conclude this entry).

I believe the Devil resorts to fear tactics for two reasons: either to flaunt his power/have a little fun, or because he's afraid and wants to do whatever will effectively shut down the target (and trust me, if you have never experienced SP, it is something that can easily shut you down for a while, especially because it's so terrifying and disorienting). It's a desperate tactic, and if I hadn't started looking into spiritual warfare in February, I would probably be more susceptible to living my life in fear of the next time I might experience SP. Again, not that it's fun, but when you have an idea of what to expect, and know that you aren't about to be killed by whatever being is hovering over you or grabbing at your legs, you approach the whole situation differently.



Sometimes I think I shouldn't look to deeply into this (for fear of being sucked into something bigger than I as a human can handle) and instead focus on my relationship with God. After all, shouldn't I just trust in the strength of the great Defender rather than get wrapped up in spying on the enemy's tactics and strategies? That's a great way to end up overestimating the power of the enemy and get frightened of the battle (think Saruman and his constant gazing into Feanor's palantir- it's easy to get obsessed). I once said that the idea of being God's warrior was exciting. . . but things like this make me realize that being human means being limited, especially when I'm not relying on God's strength. On the other side, as long as my focus in Heaven-ward, I don't think it's bad to be informed. After all, an effective warrior does not go running headfirst into a battle swinging blindly and come up victorious. And the most important part is that he goes in with the best armor and weapons available. So really that's what I need to do (and with an incident that happened earlier this week, I believe it all the more strongly now). I've got to focus on putting the armor of God on daily, and doing it correctly. What better armor is there for the inevitable spiritual battles? I know how sharp the sword of the Spirit is, but EVERYTHING else is meant for defense and protection. I've got to be sure that I'm not leaving myself vulnerable to attack (after all, the Devil wants to devour us).

Alright, I've rambled on long enough. Here are some interesting websites:
this talks specifically about sleep paralysis
this site is about deliverance from demons
this one is all about mental health (and I think there's some great stuff in here. His article about a cure for SP is here)

One last thought: I overheard a conversation about a kid in children's church who came up with the following (paraphrased): "I think God created Satan so powerful and let him become bad so that He could send Jesus to save us from him."