Deception and DNOW

There is a picture that has stirred quite a debate on the internet.

Yes, world, I am finally attempting cultural relevance beyond a hashtag.

What I find fascinating is that even though there are clearly objective measures that the dress is black and blue (both because it is a dress that you can buy online and because Adobe is magic and can tell us the color of things), there are still people debating on what color it is.  The truth is there, and depending on your internet speed, very quickly found, but people are more apt to believe what they see rather than seek out the truth.

That is very much what this past weekend's messages were about.

Disciple NOW at Stetson was an eye-opening weekend for me, to say the least.  The band that came out of Orlando (Become Ministry) did a great job leading the kids and adults in seeking God through song, and they also went out of their way to connect with the students.  Super super awesome.  The speaker (Harris III) used illusions to help show Biblical truths.  I took a lot out of the weekend, but the messages that struck me the most were the ones about identity.

You see, I don't know what I'm supposed to do with my life.  But there were so many moments this weekend that struck me directly between the eyes, particularly with the specific language used.  I am at a huge crossroads in my life.  I have the opportunity to make intentional choices for Christ as I reattach my identity.  I am not convinced that I am meant to continue to just do the same thing I've "always" done (because, you know, by the time you're 26 you've already figured the recipe for your life).  God has gifted me greatly, and I am meant to use those gifts to influence the community around me.  But what is God's dream for my life?

The last year and a half of my life was pretty well defined by taking care of a sick person.  And I can say it was absolutely my calling for that time.   But now I've been wrestling with the whole "God taught me how to love through her, and now it's time to love HIM like that" for the past 3 weeks now.  And then this past weekend to hear about the opportunity for a new identity, knowing that right now a good chunk of who I made myself be is gone.  I've had to be this other me, this old guy who buys houses and drives to doctor's appointments and separates out pills, who goes and makes the money and makes sure everything is set for security, who is trapped in a routine of life that isn't bad, but it isn't really life.  And a great fear, of losing Cam, came true.  But the bigger fear, and the thing that was slowly happening, was losing myself in her.  I was called to love her, but not more than I love God.  I didn't do a good job of that.  But now I have a second chance. Again.

So I'm seeking out what's next for me.  I have taken some steps in a particular direction (and some people would call me crazy) but until I have some more details I will refrain from saying too much.  But there is a place for me to be a living sacrifice.  The other truth is that sometimes I feel like we put so much emphasis on "Is this where I'm supposed to be?" rather than "What am I supposed to do while I am here?" and so I've got to avoid that trap.  I'm here for now, and I can see where I can be more like Christ in my sphere of influence.

I've never really asked God to lead me like this before.  Opportunities presented themselves, and I've taken them.  I can easily see now that God was in control of them.  But I believe He is asking me to start seeking.  To open my mind to the endless possibilities that are in the world.  There are so many places to serve and people that need Christ, and no one person can do it all.  So what is it that  I am supposed to do?

Well. . . stay tuned. :)