I desperately need to write to get myself back into processing mode, but I also know that if I continue to wait for having "enough time" then this won't happen until after Halloween. Or maybe the new year.
So, I'm going to give a tl;dr for a post that only exists in my head.
PTSD. Quite the journey. I've learned a lot, I've made a lot of progress, I still have a long way to go.
Employment. I am currently working from home, teaching English to Chinese students (until the Chinese Ministry of Education totally shuts it all down) and doing video CC transcription/editing (more editing than transcription). I'm really enjoying it, and it's much less stress than Amazon was (which I enjoyed outside of the 12 hour shifts and also being on night shift).
Church. We signed a lease for our own space at the beginning of summer. And eventually we will have it ready to move in. . . but really, the possibilities it will open up are incredible.
Theater. I overcommitted a bit, not knowing what the fall was going to look like. . . but all three shows that I started rehearsal processes this past week are starting strong. I just wonder if I will ever not be in feast or famine mode. And part of that comes from being in a place where I can say "no" to things that I don't want to do because I'm no longer gig-dependent.
And so the tl;dr of the tl;dr is that things are going well. I'm busy, no surprise, but busy in a new way. The emotional word I have come to is "overwhelmed" but I know that that's not completely right because there's a negative sense to that which is not accurate to my current feelings on the past few weeks. And this is why I need to take the time to write. I'm hoping that maybe at some point this weekend, I will be able to write and get at least one ring closer to actually naming the feeling I'm experiencing.
However, the fact that I'm doing this random post is an indication that I likely will not get to it.
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I heard this earlier this week and this is what I will end this with. Lamentations 3:37-40 (MSG)-
Who do you think “spoke and it happened”? It’s the Master who gives such orders. Doesn’t the High God speak everything, good things and hard things alike, into being? And why would anyone gifted with life complain when punished for sin? Let’s take a good look at the way we’re living and reorder our lives under God.
