*I tried to write last night but perhaps I should have waited since Sunday has been a recovery day for me for the past few weeks. But anyway, I feel like I didn't get much accomplished so I'm just going back and adding some clarifying statements.
So I'm not quite to the timeline post yet but. . .
I have four days off for the first time since like March 10th. I am also reexperiencing what I thought were sinus pressure/allergy related aches right below my eyes but since they are coming back and all I have is time in front of me until Thursday. I haven't had said aches at work even a few weeks ago, and that leads me to believe that they are stress aches, which brings me to this:
I hate to admit it to myself but working like a crazy person has just been good excuse to face the (lack of) music.
Today I should have been playing juries at UNF. Last week was a couple recitals and finals week at JU. May is a few days away. Just trying to think through one of those things brings up a big 404-error in my brain and I don't quite know how to get past it at the moment. Perhaps it's a defense mechanism? Dissociation is a way for the brain to protect itself, but this is different than anything I have ever felt before. And definitely the physical symptom is unnerving. I realize this pandemic is a once in a lifetime thing, there's no guidebook to what is happening and so I don't have answers but I do have this to stimulate me hopefully in the next couple days-
Saturday's shift had the epitome of both worlds:
I felt accomplished for the first time in five weeks. I ended up fixing four sections of wall that were "out of sequence" which basically meant all the produce was there but in random chutes, so I got to play scavenger hunt. I got in at 18:15 and at 00:04 I had both walls up to snuff. I threw my hands up in success!!.... . and nobody really cared. And thankfully from midnight until the end of shift I had constant product on a bunch of different walls (21, then 8, 3, 5, 1, 11, 18. . . all within less than five hours which is a little silly).
If this job were always that second half, just boxing product in place, I would never think it's a chore. I guess I'm thankful for the more than average nights where I get moved around or doing singles or induct or whatever? I don't know.
And really the point of all this: work goes Provedincially fast no matter what, but not thinking is such a big part of that that for the first time I really had to think, it went so slowly.
Related, I think this is why my normal musician life has less of this feeling of "12 hour days go fast!" because thankfully these Amazon shifts don't feel awful but the weird sense of 12 hours of music v. packing boxes are so different. Meaningful v. meaninglessness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man or God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.
4/22/2020
We're going to miss our show
So I still haven't completed my timeline, but I do know that I am currently at the end of four full weeks/in the middle of the fifth week at Amazon (I started March 26 but my work week starts on Thursday so I don't know which way I prefer to think of it). And that is insane. As always in these things, it feels both not long enough and also like what other life did I ever live before this?
Let's go on a journey, a journey throughout time- a time that's changing all the time, it's time to go to time.
It's not a bad job. I said that I could do it as long as I need and I still stand by that, but at the moment I'm imaging that July is when I will start to get back to "real life." What makes this whole situation we are all in so difficult to deal with is that there is no definite end date yet. And even more so, that "definite" end date is not "hey everything is back to how it was!" It's simply not going to go back to that. Even as we open things back up, there will be ripples and echoes of what we are doing now.
At the first in person church, will we be wearing masks?
Will we be performing recitals capped not by the seats in the hall but by how we can social distance in the space?
How can those who are untested and without symptoms move about confidently without fear of accidentally spreading the virus should they be contagious but asymptomatic, and how will that change the social approach of life? Do we get white C's for those who are officially out of the disease and those who haven't been tested red U's?
The last is a little extreme. But just some interesting thoughts.
Unrelated, but something I never noticed before:
Titus 2:11-14
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, 12 training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.
We get the benefit, but God gets the glory, and that's pretty cool.
Let's go on a journey, a journey throughout time- a time that's changing all the time, it's time to go to time.
It's not a bad job. I said that I could do it as long as I need and I still stand by that, but at the moment I'm imaging that July is when I will start to get back to "real life." What makes this whole situation we are all in so difficult to deal with is that there is no definite end date yet. And even more so, that "definite" end date is not "hey everything is back to how it was!" It's simply not going to go back to that. Even as we open things back up, there will be ripples and echoes of what we are doing now.
At the first in person church, will we be wearing masks?
Will we be performing recitals capped not by the seats in the hall but by how we can social distance in the space?
How can those who are untested and without symptoms move about confidently without fear of accidentally spreading the virus should they be contagious but asymptomatic, and how will that change the social approach of life? Do we get white C's for those who are officially out of the disease and those who haven't been tested red U's?
The last is a little extreme. But just some interesting thoughts.
Unrelated, but something I never noticed before:
Titus 2:11-14
For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, 12 training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.
We get the benefit, but God gets the glory, and that's pretty cool.
4/20/2020
politics v. faith, in light of the virus
For the Christian, the coronavirus and your response to it should not be primarily a political issue. It is a Gospel issue.
This in the context of what we are facing is what I've been wrestling with:
Titus 3:1-2, 8-9
Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. . . the saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people. But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless.
So for those followers of Jesus reading this, here are some verses to consider as we face the next few weeks (all emphasis mine throughout):
Romans 13:1-2
Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment.
These are God's words, given to us in order to see His glory in all things. Looking at this passage, it is NOT saying that if the government tells us to do something that is against God's commands to us, we should submit anyway. This Scripture has been used out of context throughout history and I don't want to make that same fault.
However. . .
Paul is talking to believers dealing with a political climate in which they could be persecuted and die for living out their faith. In contrast, we are being asked to stay in our homes for a few weeks. If we believe God is sovereign, then we need to recognize that He holds our entire life in His hands- our livelihoods, our families, our country, everything. He provides everything we need and blesses us beyond that. So we don't have to live in fear of what is going on; I am currently working in an environment where the virus has been confirmed in peoples' lives, but I'm not afraid of the virus because I know who holds my future! I also know He gave me a brain and I do not want to be a contributing factor to spreading this virus before we as finite humans can understand what's happening. So as much as I hate wearing a mask and avoiding human contact, I have to trust that God is accomplishing what He desires for my life. Part of that is submitting to and recognizing God's ultimate sovereignty, and a part of that sovereignty is in those people who have been put in place as governing authorities above us.
This passage goes on to say-
Romans 13:3-7
Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer. Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience. For because of this you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.
Whether or not we agree with the city counsel, mayor, state governor, or our President is irrelevant. Personal beliefs are not greater than God's sovereignty in the people who are currently in place making decisions. The desire for preserving American freedom is a good thing (I mean, our government is not arresting us for online church!), but we must also remember the true freedom that we have been given in Christ-
1 Peter 2:13-17
Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.
Peter here does not give an out. If anything. the out here is the will of God, and His will is that we do good in spite of what is going on. He makes the statement of "honor everyone" and then re-emphasizes "honor the emperor." Perhaps this is because we are in the flesh so apt to judge the persons put in charge of our government?
Also, I don't think the context is accidental here-
1 Peter 2:9-12
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.
As Christians we ought to be living a life that contrasts the people around us. We know the end of this story, whether Jesus comes back or what awaits us at our last breath. We should have confidence in the hope of resurrection with Christ. And what that means for us in this moment is that we should be willing and burdened to share the hope of the Gospel with people who are anxious, depressed, hopeless without any way to look at the short-term reality of coronavirus life. We should be seen as calm, secure, and confident in the God of the universe Who holds every moment of our lives. The last bit definitely harkens back to the sermon on the mount when Jesus says "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."
I understand that this is tough, because "my choice to go hang out with family and friends, to protest, to live my life the way I know is best is not a bad thing- it's simply my right as an American!" Yes, it is our "right" as American citizens. But let us not forget that we are ultimately citizens of heaven. To openly defy government orders that ultimately do not go against God's commands in our lives is not right in light of all the Scriptural evidence above. But I get it. We want to be able to plan our lives, to anticipate the end of this virus, to go out and be human again; but James addresses this concept-
James 4:13-16
Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.
Is life difficult at the moment? Yes, absolutely. So much. I can certainly say that my personal and professional lives have been completely upended. I'm not alone in this. But God has provided for me in His sovereignty so that I can continue life in the way He desires, and I'm learning what my desire for physicality and His provision of His grace and presence really means.
So. . . what can we do?
In being submissive: to follow the social orders being subjected on us, to recognize that our personal freedoms are not more important than the greater good as we consider Christ's attitude toward the cross (not my will but Yours be done)
In obeying God: to not let this virus allow us to fall into easy sinful behaviors that would otherwise not be accessible except in slowing doing or isolation, and to see God's hand in the decisions that don't jive with our predispositions
In readying for good works: to reach out to our neighbors, our families, our coworkers with the hope of the Gospel and providing physical needs in their dire situations, giving glory to God for our ability to provide and also in His providence to serve them and tell them of His glory and hope
This resource has been really helpful for me: https://www.desiringgod.org/books/coronavirus-and-christ
As you post on social media, as you make choices for your family, as you respond to the next steps we take in this corona climate, remember Who is in control of all of this.
This in the context of what we are facing is what I've been wrestling with:
Titus 3:1-2, 8-9
Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. . . the saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people. But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless.
So for those followers of Jesus reading this, here are some verses to consider as we face the next few weeks (all emphasis mine throughout):
Romans 13:1-2
Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment.
These are God's words, given to us in order to see His glory in all things. Looking at this passage, it is NOT saying that if the government tells us to do something that is against God's commands to us, we should submit anyway. This Scripture has been used out of context throughout history and I don't want to make that same fault.
However. . .
Paul is talking to believers dealing with a political climate in which they could be persecuted and die for living out their faith. In contrast, we are being asked to stay in our homes for a few weeks. If we believe God is sovereign, then we need to recognize that He holds our entire life in His hands- our livelihoods, our families, our country, everything. He provides everything we need and blesses us beyond that. So we don't have to live in fear of what is going on; I am currently working in an environment where the virus has been confirmed in peoples' lives, but I'm not afraid of the virus because I know who holds my future! I also know He gave me a brain and I do not want to be a contributing factor to spreading this virus before we as finite humans can understand what's happening. So as much as I hate wearing a mask and avoiding human contact, I have to trust that God is accomplishing what He desires for my life. Part of that is submitting to and recognizing God's ultimate sovereignty, and a part of that sovereignty is in those people who have been put in place as governing authorities above us.
This passage goes on to say-
Romans 13:3-7
Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer. Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience. For because of this you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.
Whether or not we agree with the city counsel, mayor, state governor, or our President is irrelevant. Personal beliefs are not greater than God's sovereignty in the people who are currently in place making decisions. The desire for preserving American freedom is a good thing (I mean, our government is not arresting us for online church!), but we must also remember the true freedom that we have been given in Christ-
1 Peter 2:13-17
Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.
Peter here does not give an out. If anything. the out here is the will of God, and His will is that we do good in spite of what is going on. He makes the statement of "honor everyone" and then re-emphasizes "honor the emperor." Perhaps this is because we are in the flesh so apt to judge the persons put in charge of our government?
Also, I don't think the context is accidental here-
1 Peter 2:9-12
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.
As Christians we ought to be living a life that contrasts the people around us. We know the end of this story, whether Jesus comes back or what awaits us at our last breath. We should have confidence in the hope of resurrection with Christ. And what that means for us in this moment is that we should be willing and burdened to share the hope of the Gospel with people who are anxious, depressed, hopeless without any way to look at the short-term reality of coronavirus life. We should be seen as calm, secure, and confident in the God of the universe Who holds every moment of our lives. The last bit definitely harkens back to the sermon on the mount when Jesus says "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."
I understand that this is tough, because "my choice to go hang out with family and friends, to protest, to live my life the way I know is best is not a bad thing- it's simply my right as an American!" Yes, it is our "right" as American citizens. But let us not forget that we are ultimately citizens of heaven. To openly defy government orders that ultimately do not go against God's commands in our lives is not right in light of all the Scriptural evidence above. But I get it. We want to be able to plan our lives, to anticipate the end of this virus, to go out and be human again; but James addresses this concept-
James 4:13-16
Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.
Is life difficult at the moment? Yes, absolutely. So much. I can certainly say that my personal and professional lives have been completely upended. I'm not alone in this. But God has provided for me in His sovereignty so that I can continue life in the way He desires, and I'm learning what my desire for physicality and His provision of His grace and presence really means.
So. . . what can we do?
In being submissive: to follow the social orders being subjected on us, to recognize that our personal freedoms are not more important than the greater good as we consider Christ's attitude toward the cross (not my will but Yours be done)
In obeying God: to not let this virus allow us to fall into easy sinful behaviors that would otherwise not be accessible except in slowing doing or isolation, and to see God's hand in the decisions that don't jive with our predispositions
In readying for good works: to reach out to our neighbors, our families, our coworkers with the hope of the Gospel and providing physical needs in their dire situations, giving glory to God for our ability to provide and also in His providence to serve them and tell them of His glory and hope
This resource has been really helpful for me: https://www.desiringgod.org/books/coronavirus-and-christ
As you post on social media, as you make choices for your family, as you respond to the next steps we take in this corona climate, remember Who is in control of all of this.
For the Christian, the coronavirus and your response to it should not be primarily a political issue. It is a Gospel issue.
This in the context of what we are facing is what I've been wrestling with:
Titus 3:1-2, 8-9
Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. . . the saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people. But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless.
So for those followers of Jesus reading this, here are some verses to consider as we face the next few weeks (all emphasis mine throughout):
Romans 13:1-2
Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment.
These are God's words, given to us in order to see His glory in all things. Looking at this passage, it is NOT saying that if the government tells us to do something that is against God's commands to us, we should submit anyway. This Scripture has been used out of context throughout history and I don't want to make that same fault.
However. . .
Paul is talking to believers dealing with a political climate in which they could be persecuted and die for living out their faith. In contrast, we are being asked to stay in our homes for a few weeks. If we believe God is sovereign, then we need to recognize that He holds our entire life in His hands- our livelihoods, our families, our country, everything. He provides everything we need and blesses us beyond that. So we don't have to live in fear of what is going on; I am currently working in an environment where the virus has been confirmed in peoples' lives, but I'm not afraid of the virus because I know who holds my future! I also know He gave me a brain and I do not want to be a contributing factor to spreading this virus before we as finite humans can understand what's happening. So as much as I hate wearing a mask and avoiding human contact, I have to trust that God is accomplishing what He desires for my life. Part of that is submitting to and recognizing God's ultimate sovereignty, and a part of that sovereignty is in those people who have been put in place as governing authorities above us.
This passage goes on to say-
Romans 13:3-7
Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer. Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience. For because of this you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.
Whether or not we agree with the city counsel, mayor, state governor, or our President is irrelevant. Personal beliefs are not greater than God's sovereignty in the people who are currently in place making decisions. The desire for preserving American freedom is a good thing (I mean, our government is not arresting us for online church!), but we must also remember the true freedom that we have been given in Christ-
1 Peter 2:13-17
Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.
Peter here does not give an out. If anything. the out here is the will of God, and His will is that we do good in spite of what is going on. He makes the statement of "honor everyone" and then re-emphasizes "honor the emperor." Perhaps this is because we are in the flesh so apt to judge the persons put in charge of our government?
Also, I don't think the context is accidental here-
1 Peter 2:9-12
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.
As Christians we ought to be living a life that contrasts the people around us. We know the end of this story, whether Jesus comes back or what awaits us at our last breath. We should have confidence in the hope of resurrection with Christ. And what that means for us in this moment is that we should be willing and burdened to share the hope of the Gospel with people who are anxious, depressed, hopeless without any way to look at the short-term reality of coronavirus life. We should be seen as calm, secure, and confident in the God of the universe Who holds every moment of our lives. The last bit definitely harkens back to the sermon on the mount when Jesus says "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."
I understand that this is tough, because "my choice to go hang out with family and friends, to protest, to live my life the way I know is best is not a bad thing- it's simply my right as an American!" Yes, it is our "right" as American citizens. But let us not forget that we are ultimately citizens of heaven. To openly defy government orders that do not go against God's commands in our lives is not right in light of all the Scriptural evidence above. But I get it. We want to be able to plan our lives, to anticipate the end of this virus, to go out and be human again; but James addresses this concept-
James 4:13-16
Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.
Is life difficult at the moment? Yes, absolutely. So much. I haven't had a real hug/significant human physical contact since March 24, which between extroversion and being a touchy person is insane, and financially I'm out several thousand dollars in gigs at the moment (only March and April cancellations currently and May isn't looking good). I know I'm not alone in this. But God has provided for me in His sovereignty so that I can continue life in the way He desires, and I'm learning what my desire for physicality and His provision of His grace and presence really means.
So. . . what can we do?
In being submissive: to follow the social orders being subjected on us, to recognize that our personal freedoms are not more important than the greater good as we consider Christ's attitude toward the cross (not my will but Yours be done)
In obeying God: to not let this virus allow us to fall into easy sinful behaviors that would otherwise not be accessible except in slowing doing or isolation, and to see God's hand in the decisions that don't jive with our predispositions
In readying for good works: to reach out to our neighbors, our families, our coworkers with the hope of the Gospel and providing physical needs in their dire situations, giving glory to God for our ability to provide and also in His providence to serve them and tell them of His glory and hope
This resource has been really helpful for me: https://www.desiringgod.org/books/coronavirus-and-christ
As you post on social media, as you make choices for your family, as you respond to the next steps we take in this corona climate, remember Who is in control of all of this.
4/14/2020
Some random thoughts
Work affords me a lot of introspection to a point. . .but nothing made to completion. So here are some random unfinished thoughts about work.
- Amazon is going well. I'm thankful for something to do, but I also know that it's keeping me from facing all of reality; I'm still floating a bit. I'd rather not be but also I know it's an emotional defense mechanism.
- I feel like part of why I'm doing well enough at this job is because I'm a musician and I understand intrinsically how practicing works. You do things repeatedly at a slow speed and gradually increase the tempo. . . and after you're at a solid place you go back and do it slow again to reinforce the goodness. . .
- My immediate arrow prayer life is greatly enhanced. Silly things like thanking God that I grabbed enough dunnage or recognizing the provision of boxes when I wasn't looking for it. My long term prayer life goes in and out. The time I notice the most is in the days off when the rest of the world sleeps, it happens around 12/1 AM. I've realized that I just do what I have to or try and just pass the time with distractions instead of using at least some of the quiet time to really reflect and connect. But I am praying so much at work that it's not like it's not happening at all? I dunno.
- Honestly I wonder if the speed of the shifts and my positive attitude towards is all is really just the peace that passes all understanding.
- Amazon is going well. I'm thankful for something to do, but I also know that it's keeping me from facing all of reality; I'm still floating a bit. I'd rather not be but also I know it's an emotional defense mechanism.
- I feel like part of why I'm doing well enough at this job is because I'm a musician and I understand intrinsically how practicing works. You do things repeatedly at a slow speed and gradually increase the tempo. . . and after you're at a solid place you go back and do it slow again to reinforce the goodness. . .
- My immediate arrow prayer life is greatly enhanced. Silly things like thanking God that I grabbed enough dunnage or recognizing the provision of boxes when I wasn't looking for it. My long term prayer life goes in and out. The time I notice the most is in the days off when the rest of the world sleeps, it happens around 12/1 AM. I've realized that I just do what I have to or try and just pass the time with distractions instead of using at least some of the quiet time to really reflect and connect. But I am praying so much at work that it's not like it's not happening at all? I dunno.
- Honestly I wonder if the speed of the shifts and my positive attitude towards is all is really just the peace that passes all understanding.
4/08/2020
Investing in the heart bank
I said last night that my heart didn't have the correct currency. You know what heart change is?
Repentance.
Psalm 25
To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me, Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.
Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths, Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.
Remember your mercy, O Lord, and your steadfast love, for they have been from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O Lord!
Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.
For your name's sake, O Lord, pardon my guilt, for it is great. Who is the man who fears the Lord? Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose. His soul shall abide in well-being, and his offspring shall inherit the land. The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant. My eyes are ever toward the Lord, for he will pluck my feet out of the net.
Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins. Consider how many are my foes, and with what violent hatred they hate me. Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me! Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you.
Redeem Israel, O God, out of all his troubles.
My hope doesn't lie in job or financial security, or health, or how many friends I have, or my reputation, or my ability to keep pushing forward. My hope lies in Jesus, who saved me from my inability to save myself, who made a way for me to be able to connect directly with God through his righteousness, who is preparing a place for me at the end of this life whenever it comes, who works in me currently as I work out my salvation.
Repentance.
Psalm 25
To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul. O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me, Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous.
Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths, Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.
Remember your mercy, O Lord, and your steadfast love, for they have been from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O Lord!
Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.
For your name's sake, O Lord, pardon my guilt, for it is great. Who is the man who fears the Lord? Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose. His soul shall abide in well-being, and his offspring shall inherit the land. The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant. My eyes are ever toward the Lord, for he will pluck my feet out of the net.
Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins. Consider how many are my foes, and with what violent hatred they hate me. Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me! Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you.
Redeem Israel, O God, out of all his troubles.
My hope doesn't lie in job or financial security, or health, or how many friends I have, or my reputation, or my ability to keep pushing forward. My hope lies in Jesus, who saved me from my inability to save myself, who made a way for me to be able to connect directly with God through his righteousness, who is preparing a place for me at the end of this life whenever it comes, who works in me currently as I work out my salvation.
4/07/2020
The beginning of the struggle
I started a timeline since all this but it's proving to be harder than I expected. It's mostly for me, and partially for posterity's sake, and so I'll work on it again tomorrow.
So, I'm really struggling. I haven't let myself just let it out and weep, mostly because the handful of times it has come up as a possibility the timing just is horrible. And also I probably have always bottled things up in this way my whole life and just use circumstances to make convenient excuses. I don't have any real perspective on the past few weeks (hence trying to make a timeline). But I know the lack of real human contact is already wearing heavily on me, and I have at least the rest of this month to look forward to having more of the same nothing. Between my extroversion and my physicality this is pretty much hell on earthfor me . I have two days off and I'm already itchy because I know I have very little to do tomorrow and Wednesday will be ok because I will be able to keep busy with things to do for church for most of the time I'm awake but am I ready to accept that that really is the existence I will have to embrace for at least a few weeks?
My brain has lots of great things to offer:
God is in control.
This is temporary.
There's more to life than just the immediate circumstances.
You've been through difficult times before.
Isolation is not what it seems.
Perceived lack is often a lie.
God is your portion.
Unfortunately at the moment my heart just doesn't have the right currency to buy any of it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From The Journal of Biblical Counseling 29:3 (2015), an article by Pierce Taylor Hibbs entitled "Panic and the Personal God"-
There is a problem, however. . . we don’t always recognize God’s presence in creation. . . even though we are personal beings who were made by a personal God and live in God’s personal world, our sin blinds and deafens us. It alienates us and makes us feel like the world is cold and when God speaks creation into existence, he marks it with his presence. We need the Spirit to remove the scales from our eyes, to unstop our ears, to loosen our tongues, to help us recognize that every part of the world is marked by the presence of a personal God. . . All are comprised of molecules and minerals created by God. And all these things are intrinsically personal because they were made and are sustained by the tripersonal God of the Bible. God never leaves us with only water and waves. When anxiety and panic creep into your mind and heart, remember that God speaks to you…everywhere. Look around. Every fiber of creation is a gift personally designed by God for his children. A rock, a window, a car, a couch cushion—they all exist because of the God who knows your name. The whole world is filled with objects that point back to him. That God, your God, is everywhere, personally present in what he has made. That means he is with you and me, even when we feel as if we are by ourselves. And he is with us not just through the things that he has made. He also communicates to us in Scripture and he invites us to communicate with him in prayer.
So. . . I'm gonna go for a walk.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
