I read this last night and thought it related somewhat to what I was thinking about in the entry previous. I know I've read that passage before, and probably more than a few times (I love 1st Corinthians), but it struck me in a different way (which, if you keep reading, you can find out how that could happen- one of my favorite newly discovered passages I happened upon this summer on the way to camp).
The end.
9/30/2010
9/29/2010
no convoluted analogy tonight, but hopefully soon
I've spent the past week and a half trying to come up with an analogy, because right now what I'm coming up with makes absolutely no sense (it's generally helpful when the object of comparison doesn't have to be modified to the point where it doesn't actually work that way in real life). So, that's why I haven't written anything yet. I told myself I'd try and write once a week, so I'm a couple days off, but that's OK. Anyway, this week is going much better. I think the combination of homecoming craziness/full moon/Jupiter/explosion of lovebugs from last week has officially come and gone (minus the lovebugs, of course).
I don't know that I have anything super deep tonight, but I've been thinking a little bit lately about something a friend said to me as well as something I observe with some frequency in the world of Facebook (and the world at large, but seriously, the News Feed is such a wealth of, well, news and information! haha). There's the idea that religious conservatives are rigid in their beliefs, which I completely agree with. The problem I have is that most people view this as a negative characteristic, which I completely disagree with. Friends, that's the voice of moral relativism, which says that each person gets to decide what's best for them, so that no one is accountable to anyone or anything except themselves. I don't know about you, but I don't like the idea of living in that kind of world. Unfortunately, that's exactly where we are heading. To a point, I can understand latching onto one belief system over another. What I don't understand is the idea that everyone gets to choose, and that even if I say I believe in a system that holds people accountable, I still think it's OK if someone else doesn't agree with it. Read that again. "I believe this to be true. If you don't, though, you aren't wrong, as long as you believe in something. Or if you believe in nothing. Whatever works for you."
WHAT.
And while people don't necessarily say the statements I put in quotes, that is exactly the philosophical basis behind moral relativism. If you want to criticize religious conservatives, then point to their tactics of hatred (picketing, taking God's judgment into their own hands, and essentially not loving on people. I will never forget the story told by Jared at Student Life Camp about the Christians who went to an abortion clinic with duct tape over their mouths to protest the babies being aborted (the idea being that the babies didn't have a chance to speak before they were killed). HOW STUPID! Stop trying to prove a point and instead show people the love of Christ! Stop getting in people's faces about how they're going to burn in Hell if they don't repent, and instead show them what a relationship with Jesus is actually about! I wouldn't want to be a Christ follower if that was my view of what it means to be a Christian. Anyway). Point to their Phariseeic attitudes about things that aren't even worth fighting over because they have no real Biblical basis. But don't completely discount them because of the "rigidity of their beliefs." There's a reason those beliefs are rigid- they are BASED on something concrete. It's not just something pulled out of the air, or something that they feel; their beliefs are based on what the Bible teaches. And regardless of your beliefs about the Bible, at least realize that the whole belief system these conservatives have are not just out of spite or hatred. They are based on what they claim to be the teachings of their Lord and God (again, my purpose is not to open a discussion of religions, but just to attempt to point out a fallacy in argument). If there's no accountability, no real standard of right or wrong, then life is just chaos and anarchy, and I think most people, if they get deep down, can see that life doesn't work that way. There is order. There is purpose. There is meaning. I mean, that's why all different religious systems are out there! People are constantly trying to figure out what the point of life is. Here's my question: if your beliefs aren't rigid, are they really things you believe in?
One last comment, because I'm getting tired/hazy and losing focus: It's sad that the religious nuts get the most time in the news (just as it's sad that the extremists of other groups of people get the same coverage, thus adding to the stereotyping of all), because they really do ruin it. So please, don't lump all "religious conservatives" in with the fire brandishing, sign holding, hate filled people that unfortunately take the label of "Christian" upon themselves as they do all sorts of un-Christ-like acts.
I don't know that I have anything super deep tonight, but I've been thinking a little bit lately about something a friend said to me as well as something I observe with some frequency in the world of Facebook (and the world at large, but seriously, the News Feed is such a wealth of, well, news and information! haha). There's the idea that religious conservatives are rigid in their beliefs, which I completely agree with. The problem I have is that most people view this as a negative characteristic, which I completely disagree with. Friends, that's the voice of moral relativism, which says that each person gets to decide what's best for them, so that no one is accountable to anyone or anything except themselves. I don't know about you, but I don't like the idea of living in that kind of world. Unfortunately, that's exactly where we are heading. To a point, I can understand latching onto one belief system over another. What I don't understand is the idea that everyone gets to choose, and that even if I say I believe in a system that holds people accountable, I still think it's OK if someone else doesn't agree with it. Read that again. "I believe this to be true. If you don't, though, you aren't wrong, as long as you believe in something. Or if you believe in nothing. Whatever works for you."
WHAT.
And while people don't necessarily say the statements I put in quotes, that is exactly the philosophical basis behind moral relativism. If you want to criticize religious conservatives, then point to their tactics of hatred (picketing, taking God's judgment into their own hands, and essentially not loving on people. I will never forget the story told by Jared at Student Life Camp about the Christians who went to an abortion clinic with duct tape over their mouths to protest the babies being aborted (the idea being that the babies didn't have a chance to speak before they were killed). HOW STUPID! Stop trying to prove a point and instead show people the love of Christ! Stop getting in people's faces about how they're going to burn in Hell if they don't repent, and instead show them what a relationship with Jesus is actually about! I wouldn't want to be a Christ follower if that was my view of what it means to be a Christian. Anyway). Point to their Phariseeic attitudes about things that aren't even worth fighting over because they have no real Biblical basis. But don't completely discount them because of the "rigidity of their beliefs." There's a reason those beliefs are rigid- they are BASED on something concrete. It's not just something pulled out of the air, or something that they feel; their beliefs are based on what the Bible teaches. And regardless of your beliefs about the Bible, at least realize that the whole belief system these conservatives have are not just out of spite or hatred. They are based on what they claim to be the teachings of their Lord and God (again, my purpose is not to open a discussion of religions, but just to attempt to point out a fallacy in argument). If there's no accountability, no real standard of right or wrong, then life is just chaos and anarchy, and I think most people, if they get deep down, can see that life doesn't work that way. There is order. There is purpose. There is meaning. I mean, that's why all different religious systems are out there! People are constantly trying to figure out what the point of life is. Here's my question: if your beliefs aren't rigid, are they really things you believe in?
One last comment, because I'm getting tired/hazy and losing focus: It's sad that the religious nuts get the most time in the news (just as it's sad that the extremists of other groups of people get the same coverage, thus adding to the stereotyping of all), because they really do ruin it. So please, don't lump all "religious conservatives" in with the fire brandishing, sign holding, hate filled people that unfortunately take the label of "Christian" upon themselves as they do all sorts of un-Christ-like acts.
9/20/2010
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes and focus
Every so often (6 to 8 months, probably? It all depends on how busy I get), I reach a point of emotional critical mass, and then something has to give. The biggest problem is that I usually keep people from knowing anything is going on, because the types of things that weigh me down never really seem to be worth all the huff I feel like I'm emitting. So, either I A)have a complete meltdown, which is cleansing and resets me so I can keep going again and start chipping away at the stuff that is stressing me out, or B)work feverishly at getting rid of all the things that are weighing me down and causing the emotional mass, thus bypassing the need for a meltdown. In this case, I went with option B. So, here are all the things I got done today:
-Completed the ESOL course (which had to be done by Saturday, and since I have something every night for the rest of the week because of homecoming (volleyball, church, prowl, and football), I HAD to have it done today)
-Purged the apartment, and when I say purged, I mean threw out 3 garbage bags and a huge box full of junk and garbage. I also put all my movies and books on my shelves and fixed my dresser drawers so that they would all shut correctly.
-Wrote letters to my Compassion child and our SS class' World Vision child, both of which were LONG overdue.
-Bought somewhat healthy food (and at least now I have food in the apartment again; no more ordering pizza)
-Went for a run
The biggest thing was cleaning the apartment. It started when I went to MI this summer- it wasn't very clean then because BATB had just ended, and when I got back I never unpacked because I immediately jumped into a workshop, Homeland, and VBS. And then summer never really slowed down, and all of the sudden school was starting, and my apartment was getting worse and worse. I thought that maybe the reintroduction of a stable schedule would help motivate me to get stuff done, but it actually got worse. And in the last two weeks, I've just felt somewhat beaten down, and unfortunately I have been letting some bad habits creep slowly back into my life.
But no more! With the release of the critical mass, I am in full Life Improvement mode. I'm going to be more thoughtful in planning ahead with my teaching, regardless of how well I know (or think I know) the curriculum already. I am going to stop making poor food choices, regardless of how tired I feel and how much I don't want to get up and make something for myself. I'm going to start exercising regularly again (current plan being that I go for a run three times a week: M/T, H/F, S/Sn, ideally MHS or TFSn so that I don't go too few or too many days between running, at least until I get back into shape. But with my ever changing schedule, I don't want to schedule specific days and then end up not going because something comes up. So, a flexible three times a week seems reasonable). I'm also going to read a little bit of the Bible after exercising (the theory here is that, for whatever reason, on my busiest days I always find time to get into the Word, but on days where I have oodles of time, I end up filling it with other stuff and hit the pillow without ever opening my Bible. The days I will run are likely to be days I have more free time. Therefore, I will have a higher level of accountability). I need to stop loving the world and start abiding in Him. We'll see what happens when I pit my Awesome Plans against Real Life.
Most importantly though, I need to stop running myself into brick walls and start realizing how many people I have around me that really do care. And I need to stop acting like this life is the whole story and the difficulties I face I face alone, because neither of those is true.
Which brings me to my next point.
The best way I can describe the past couple weeks is "unfocused." Generally I am a pretty focused person- give me a task and I will take care of it to the best of my ability and in a timely manner. I have goals in mind for myself, and very seldom do I fail to follow through with whatever it is that I'm doing (barring unforeseen circumstances or God-appointed failures necessary to teach me something (landing a job is the best example of that in my life)). I don't let things get in my way, and while I am usually somewhat particular (OK: VERY particular) in how I get things done, I think it is that particularity that allows me to get so much done and usually do a decent job. The past two weeks I feel like I have done NOTHING, and anything that I have accomplished has been like pulling teeth. This is generally a sign of that critical mass thing, and as much as I try to ignore it, it just gets worse and worse.
But now I am on the other side. So here's the question: what could I have done to avoid all this? I think the answer lies in that "focus" idea. I think my biggest problems come when I start focusing on myself, my needs, my feelings, my tasks, my problems, and stop focusing that it is all created by Him, controlled by Him, and ultimately will be used for His glory. And as soon as I cut myself from the Lifeline, pandemonium ensues. And no matter how much "church" I try to do to make it come back, nothing will happen until I start to privately reconnect myself to God in an authentic way rather than an obligatory or rote way. I have to learn to be able to praise Him in ALL circumstances, and stop trying to get Him to fill what I think are my needs and instead just learn to trust and rely that He knows exactly what I need (since, you know, He created me and all).
So, let's refocus. Simple enough, right?
"That you may walk worthily of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God." Col. 1:10
-Completed the ESOL course (which had to be done by Saturday, and since I have something every night for the rest of the week because of homecoming (volleyball, church, prowl, and football), I HAD to have it done today)
-Purged the apartment, and when I say purged, I mean threw out 3 garbage bags and a huge box full of junk and garbage. I also put all my movies and books on my shelves and fixed my dresser drawers so that they would all shut correctly.
-Wrote letters to my Compassion child and our SS class' World Vision child, both of which were LONG overdue.
-Bought somewhat healthy food (and at least now I have food in the apartment again; no more ordering pizza)
-Went for a run
The biggest thing was cleaning the apartment. It started when I went to MI this summer- it wasn't very clean then because BATB had just ended, and when I got back I never unpacked because I immediately jumped into a workshop, Homeland, and VBS. And then summer never really slowed down, and all of the sudden school was starting, and my apartment was getting worse and worse. I thought that maybe the reintroduction of a stable schedule would help motivate me to get stuff done, but it actually got worse. And in the last two weeks, I've just felt somewhat beaten down, and unfortunately I have been letting some bad habits creep slowly back into my life.
But no more! With the release of the critical mass, I am in full Life Improvement mode. I'm going to be more thoughtful in planning ahead with my teaching, regardless of how well I know (or think I know) the curriculum already. I am going to stop making poor food choices, regardless of how tired I feel and how much I don't want to get up and make something for myself. I'm going to start exercising regularly again (current plan being that I go for a run three times a week: M/T, H/F, S/Sn, ideally MHS or TFSn so that I don't go too few or too many days between running, at least until I get back into shape. But with my ever changing schedule, I don't want to schedule specific days and then end up not going because something comes up. So, a flexible three times a week seems reasonable). I'm also going to read a little bit of the Bible after exercising (the theory here is that, for whatever reason, on my busiest days I always find time to get into the Word, but on days where I have oodles of time, I end up filling it with other stuff and hit the pillow without ever opening my Bible. The days I will run are likely to be days I have more free time. Therefore, I will have a higher level of accountability). I need to stop loving the world and start abiding in Him. We'll see what happens when I pit my Awesome Plans against Real Life.
Most importantly though, I need to stop running myself into brick walls and start realizing how many people I have around me that really do care. And I need to stop acting like this life is the whole story and the difficulties I face I face alone, because neither of those is true.
Which brings me to my next point.
The best way I can describe the past couple weeks is "unfocused." Generally I am a pretty focused person- give me a task and I will take care of it to the best of my ability and in a timely manner. I have goals in mind for myself, and very seldom do I fail to follow through with whatever it is that I'm doing (barring unforeseen circumstances or God-appointed failures necessary to teach me something (landing a job is the best example of that in my life)). I don't let things get in my way, and while I am usually somewhat particular (OK: VERY particular) in how I get things done, I think it is that particularity that allows me to get so much done and usually do a decent job. The past two weeks I feel like I have done NOTHING, and anything that I have accomplished has been like pulling teeth. This is generally a sign of that critical mass thing, and as much as I try to ignore it, it just gets worse and worse.
But now I am on the other side. So here's the question: what could I have done to avoid all this? I think the answer lies in that "focus" idea. I think my biggest problems come when I start focusing on myself, my needs, my feelings, my tasks, my problems, and stop focusing that it is all created by Him, controlled by Him, and ultimately will be used for His glory. And as soon as I cut myself from the Lifeline, pandemonium ensues. And no matter how much "church" I try to do to make it come back, nothing will happen until I start to privately reconnect myself to God in an authentic way rather than an obligatory or rote way. I have to learn to be able to praise Him in ALL circumstances, and stop trying to get Him to fill what I think are my needs and instead just learn to trust and rely that He knows exactly what I need (since, you know, He created me and all).
So, let's refocus. Simple enough, right?
"That you may walk worthily of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God." Col. 1:10
9/15/2010
informative article
This article is lengthy but well worth the read. I found it on facebook via Dennis Jernigan and though I will probably one day make reference to it via Facebook, at the moment I don't feel like taking the potential onslaught of negative responses I would expect to get from some of the people I went to school with.
Why the negative responses? Well, it's an article about pro-gay theology in the church and why it's incorrect. Very detailed, Scripture based, and (most importantly) not a "gay bashing" stance. Take the time to check it out if you're interested.
. . . you know what? I changed my mind. I am going to post it on Facebook. Commitment, right? But I'll also leave it here too.
Why the negative responses? Well, it's an article about pro-gay theology in the church and why it's incorrect. Very detailed, Scripture based, and (most importantly) not a "gay bashing" stance. Take the time to check it out if you're interested.
. . . you know what? I changed my mind. I am going to post it on Facebook. Commitment, right? But I'll also leave it here too.
9/13/2010
Commitment and Distraction
You know what's really sad? It took me three tries to spell "commitment" correctly. I will blame it on being past my "good teacher" bedtime of 9 PM.
You know what's sadder? I started typing this a little after 9 PM, and I'm just now typing this very sentence at the ripe time of 10:00 PM. So, I added "and Distraction" to the title because of that.
(also, random memory from Theory I with Dr. Adams (what did they call it? Basic Music I- MUS 1600. Man, it's been a long time): Purple monkey dishwasher (sung in a 4 part Bach chorale style, no less))
ANYWAY. Get ready for some backwards chronology of this evening.
I just had a nice catch-up conversation with one of the mom figures in my life. I've been feeling a little disconnected from some of my mitten contacts (which is OK in some cases, but there are still people I care about and want to know what's going on in their lives) so I've been making a concerted effort to try and make some phone calls/texts.
I called her on my drive home back from the open house, which was actually very encouraging to me. A parent commented on enjoying the football games and what I'm doing with the high school students because it's effective and she can see how passionate I am about what I do.
So that got me thinking: am I just as passionate about music as I am about Jesus? Does my life always reflect how I feel about my Savior? More importantly, do I allow myself to share what He's done and doing in my life? Because when I get down to it, my past record shows that I usually shy away from discussion of religion with other people because it tends to be uncomfortable. But you could call me at 2 AM and ask me a question about Beethoven Op. 21 No. 1 and I'd have a conversation with you (alright, that's a little extreme, but still). It's definitely something I need to think about (and I know I've mentioned this topic on here before, but again, something that I struggle with).
In lieu of that (and of having a crazy life), I'm making a proposal. . . to myself I suppose. I'm going to commit to updating at least once a week. I also need to catch up the relationship book stuff, and as I do that I'll try and put alerts in the weekly update that I am committing to (how come "committing" has double "m" and double "t" but "commitment" doesn't???) (wait, that would be three consonants in a row, which we don't like to do unless it's an "s" at the end of a word).
Got that, self? Write once a week. Reflect on a sermon, something from my devotional or something I read, or maybe just something that clicks in life. I will probably not start a hardcore book study again for a while (at least until after marching season, but then that gets into Christmas Carol craziness) (gotta love alliteration), though I will still probably do some light reading/reflecting because I enjoy it. No big commitments in that area right now though.
So now that a 10 minute entry has taken an hour and a half due to distraction, it's bed time. Sorry for the jumpiness.
You know what's sadder? I started typing this a little after 9 PM, and I'm just now typing this very sentence at the ripe time of 10:00 PM. So, I added "and Distraction" to the title because of that.
(also, random memory from Theory I with Dr. Adams (what did they call it? Basic Music I- MUS 1600. Man, it's been a long time): Purple monkey dishwasher (sung in a 4 part Bach chorale style, no less))
ANYWAY. Get ready for some backwards chronology of this evening.
I just had a nice catch-up conversation with one of the mom figures in my life. I've been feeling a little disconnected from some of my mitten contacts (which is OK in some cases, but there are still people I care about and want to know what's going on in their lives) so I've been making a concerted effort to try and make some phone calls/texts.
I called her on my drive home back from the open house, which was actually very encouraging to me. A parent commented on enjoying the football games and what I'm doing with the high school students because it's effective and she can see how passionate I am about what I do.
So that got me thinking: am I just as passionate about music as I am about Jesus? Does my life always reflect how I feel about my Savior? More importantly, do I allow myself to share what He's done and doing in my life? Because when I get down to it, my past record shows that I usually shy away from discussion of religion with other people because it tends to be uncomfortable. But you could call me at 2 AM and ask me a question about Beethoven Op. 21 No. 1 and I'd have a conversation with you (alright, that's a little extreme, but still). It's definitely something I need to think about (and I know I've mentioned this topic on here before, but again, something that I struggle with).
In lieu of that (and of having a crazy life), I'm making a proposal. . . to myself I suppose. I'm going to commit to updating at least once a week. I also need to catch up the relationship book stuff, and as I do that I'll try and put alerts in the weekly update that I am committing to (how come "committing" has double "m" and double "t" but "commitment" doesn't???) (wait, that would be three consonants in a row, which we don't like to do unless it's an "s" at the end of a word).
Got that, self? Write once a week. Reflect on a sermon, something from my devotional or something I read, or maybe just something that clicks in life. I will probably not start a hardcore book study again for a while (at least until after marching season, but then that gets into Christmas Carol craziness) (gotta love alliteration), though I will still probably do some light reading/reflecting because I enjoy it. No big commitments in that area right now though.
So now that a 10 minute entry has taken an hour and a half due to distraction, it's bed time. Sorry for the jumpiness.
9/03/2010
this crazy life o' mine
Where to begin? Broken car (twice in a week's span, and completely unrelated problems too), ACC auditions, school, friends, church, and tonight was our first home game (and my feet are KILLING me). So. . . eventually. Really. I loved reading the relationship book, so I must finish this out soon!
But right now it's dinner and then bed time.
(Also, it's really hard to update when you put the book in your teacher bag and then leave it at school. . . argh)
But right now it's dinner and then bed time.
(Also, it's really hard to update when you put the book in your teacher bag and then leave it at school. . . argh)
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