.posthidden {display:none} .postshown {display:inline} By His Own Hand. . .: 2011

9/13/2011

Planning to sin

It's been a long week, and it's only Tuesday night. So I'm going to be concise and get to the point so that I can get to bed.

I was at school late today for Open House, and ended up leaving about 15 minutes later than planned, which would be fine if not for the rehearsal I was already doomed to be late to in Sanford tonight. So I start my trek down 17, figuring out where I can cut corners and how fast I can reasonably go but still be safe, and my inner monologue hears this question:

"Is it part of God's plan for you to sin tonight?"

I was taken aback. That's the most extreme version of WWJD I have ever heard.

Moral if the story: I didn't speed, and everything worked out great.

So. . . is it part of God's plan for you to sin?


There's much more to say, but there are also children to teach tomorrow.

9/11/2011

the state of my apartment

Well. . . it's been a while since I've written anything of worth (February, in fact). And that sounds about right. You, as the reader, are privy only to this side of things. Let me attempt to explain the past few months (well, most of 2011 up to now- Producers followed by Into the Woods Jr. followed by Little Shop followed by Peter Pan. . . and of course school and life and three weddings and teaching a couple camps on top of those shows. . . that'll do it) via analogy.

The state of my apartment is very telling as to how things are going in my life. Of course when I am very busy it inevitably will be messier than when I'm somewhat less busy, but I honestly never go for more than a couple weeks without some kind of free time to be able to clean up my messes. No, the state of the apartment is always a direct reflection of the state of my mind and heart. A few weeks ago I washed 16 plates. SIXTEEN. Why bring that up? Well, I live by myself, and I can't tell you the last time I've cooked for myself, which means most of those plates were probably used more than once (either a sandwich or something not particularly messy was eaten off of it). My guess is that that was a month's worth of not washing dishes. My suitcase from when I visited Michigan in July? It has been sitting open and half-emptied in front of my loveseat (which has been covered with FOUR different "production bags"- reusable shopping bags filled with music, scripts, ibuprofen, stress balls, multivitamins, knives (for the inevitable peanut butter sandwiches), chip clips, pens and pencils. . . yeah). I think the last time I was able to use my loveseat was during Peter Pan auditions. . . and I can't tell you the last time I saw my kitchen counter.
Unfortunately, I haven't just been living as a slob in my apartment. I've been living as a slob spiritually. Prayers left unsaid. Readings pushed to the side. Excuse after excuse after excuse. Pretending not to know better, and wondering why things aren't working out (not that those have to be related anyway!). Ignoring the obvious calls. Trying to take control of every situation instead of giving over the hard stuff. Forgetting it's also not my job to take over the easy stuff.

I've realized what a terrible example of Christ I have been setting for the people I have been interacting with, and that's what hurts the most.

Dan's sermon last Sunday (9/4) was the beginning of a series on stewardship. Although the focus that morning was about money, I couldn't help but apply the idea of being God's steward here on Earth to some of the new people I've met and the places I spend a lot of my time (. . . "my" time). I've been wrestling the past few weeks of how to jump start myself back onto the path.

So I purged.

But it wasn't a normal purge (for those who don't know, I call cleaning my apartment "purging" because of its relationship to my emotional state. See here). Usually it's in a state of frenzied I-have-to-get-this-done-so-I-can-move-on-with-life. Not this time. I made a commitment to God that I would clean the apartment before the weekend was over. And I just sucked it up and did it. And my goodness did it need help. I've been doing emergency laundry for a while and just leaving it on top of the washer/dryer, picking through it as needed. My dishwasher doesn't work well, but I use it as a drying rack. Who knows the last time I emptied it- again, I would just pull stuff from there as needed. I already mentioned the suitcase and production bags. And there was just trash wherever, mostly by the recliner and on the counter.
Well, a few hours later, my apartment is back to a state of normalcy. I didn't get into the fine details (mopping the kitchen, cleaning the shower and sinks, etc, but that's partially due to lack of some cleaning supplies that I need to restock), but I must say that I feel MUCH better.

I'm hoping this will be a season of renewal for me. God is providing too much for me to start being selfish and worried about worldly things. I'm hoping to write more often, but after two unfinished book projects and basically 6 months off, I am smart enough at this point to make no formal commitment. I don't know what's next, but I do know that I have felt better in the past few days than I have in far too long. I'm gaining peace and a sense of focus back into my life.

"For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of His holy people in the kingdom of light. For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."
Colossians 1:9-14

8/22/2011

back into the swing of things

Well. . . it's been a while.
Busy summer.
School just started today.
Lots of things to talk about.
But it's nearly midnight and I have to do that whole school thing tomorrow again. . . just wanted to mention that I am indeed still alive and intend to keep using this as a place to think aloud. . . now that I (hopefully) have a little more time to think.

5/16/2011

I am so totally blessed. God's plan to move me down here when He did couldn't have been more perfect. . . and it seems like such an obvious/dumb thing to say, but wow. . .

I have so much to write about. Mostly I just want to capture this moment, because I know that emotions, while important, are fleeting, and it's good to have reminders about the good things. . . about fulfilling a purpose that seems crazy to everyone, even to you, but sticking with it until you are led to do otherwise. . . about loving and being loved by people nearby and by people 1,200 miles away. . . about realizing that no matter what happens here on Earth, that you are a child of God, and nothing will take that away. . . and about wanting to do the best job you can of continuing His work while you are still here.

Loved. Blessed. Content. Peaceful. Completely overwhelmed by grace and mercy.

None of it from me. And definitely none of it because of me.

It's all about You.

4/17/2011

gross

I still need to do a real update, but, well, when you wake up at 5 AM to this-




-CRAWLING INSIDE YOUR EAR CANAL. . . . well, the story writes itself, no?

At first I thought it was just a clump of ear wax that had detached itself from the walls of my ear canal (which, usually I think it's something crawling and it turns out to be ear wax. . . ironic?). Then I thought maybe it was a little spider, but I must have squashed it, so I put my head back down. But then I hear movement. Little scratchy movement. I sat up quick, but then I figured that I just heard my own legs and was being hypersensitive to the whole situation. Once more, I laid back down, and then I FELT it. So I went to the bathroom and started hitting the right side of my head while holding my left side over the sink.

And then it popped out. And I took a picture. And then I flushed it down the toilet.



Things that make you go, "buhhhhhhhh" for $500, Alex.

4/14/2011

restoration

I haven't written in a while, and there's definitely a reason behind that. . . I'm going to update soon (hopefully this weekend sometime), but for now, I'd just like to say that I'm glad to be returning back to "normal" with each passing day. It's nice to not be angry for 90% of the time that I'm awake- in fact I don't think I spent ANY time being angry or frustrated today (not even with my 6th graders, who have been somewhat difficult to teach).


Psalms 23.

2/28/2011

duty v. obedience

I was just reading over some of the most recent entries here and thinking, "I wrote that?" I wonder how much Ghost-writing might really be going on. . . I don't know, but it's nice to go back and look and say, "Oh yeah, that makes a lot of sense- why didn't I remember that? Why aren't I applying that to my life?"

Anyway.

I was reading my devotional and two statements caught my eye: "We need to rely on the resurrection life of Jesus much deeper down than we do, to get into the habit of steadily referring everything back to Him; instead of this we make our common-sense decisions and ask God to bless them." (emphasis mine)
And: "When we do anything from a sense of duty, we can back it up by argument; when we do anything in obedience to the Lord, there is no argument possible; that is why a saint can easily be ridiculed."

The first statement describes what often becomes at least a part of many people's prayer lives (myself included- no judgment here). We go about doing life, and then when we decide things are going crazy or not working out, we ask God to step in on our behalf to fix everything. If we would just keep Him involved throughout the process, there would be no need for "emergency prayers" for the daily activities we participate in (obviously things happen in life, and there are curve balls, and there are many moments we need intervention from God, but what I'm talking about here are the daily tasks, job activities, family time, etc.). Or worse, we fool ourselves to think that because we have "prayed" about it, it must be blessed, because clearly it's part of God's plan. What's really happening is that we are deciding to do things in our own power and treating God as more of an overseer rather than the supplying power. Maybe He has blessed you with a specific position/job placement, but just because you are doing some work there doesn't mean that you are doing His work there. I know I struggle with that.

But it's the second statement that strikes me harder. I am a very logical/analytical person (clearly, if you've read anything here). Nearly everything I do, I do for a specific reason, and usually it's something that has been thought out and makes sense, at least to me. There really is a method to my madness, although often times I think it just comes off as madness and people fail to see the process behind it. Anyway, I wonder to myself how much of what I do is really off of strict obedience to God (which in truth is a rational motivation to an action) and how much is motivated by that sense of duty (a quick aside- duty (origin with "due", meaning "to owe", and related to "debt") is something done out of obligation, be it personal, moral, legal, occupational, whatever. I generally think of the military when I hear the word "duty"). One could argue that we "owe" God a lot; everything, in fact! Our lives should be a living sacrifice, right? But that's not what He requires. In fact, we can't even achieve that on our own, but we don't have to. God wants us to understand our sin problem, to see the only solution through the death of Jesus, and to realize that life is about knowing Him better and making Him known to others. Sometimes I feel like there's too much pressure to try and become the "perfect Christian" and know a bunch of Bible verses and do and say the right things all the time, and yet sometimes I also feel like there's not nearly enough emphasis on those things, and neither of them are really a good way of looking at life. What I'm finding and figuring out is that it's about finding and figuring things out. It's a process- not a ladder. It's not about achieving specific levels or reaching different steps but more about figuring out God's will and chasing after it with everything. Sounds so simple, and yet here we are, making rules for ourselves, fearing what comes next, unwilling to step out and be different, and ultimately finding that duty leaves us empty, but obedience always fills us. Duty tells us we have to get it right or we have failed. Obedience tells us that we will make every effort to do right, and if we mess up, we will try again. Duty sets time limits on a task-based to-do list, allowing us to check off the things we have to do. Obedience is a natural and immediate reaction to life and everything that comes at us. Duty is planned. Obedience is (dare I say?) spontaneous.


The comforting thought out of all of this? I do not always have to be able to explain why I want to do what I do. I spend so much time trying to reason out everything. . . I just need to let the rationalizing go and just DO.

So that's my goal for the week.

2/22/2011

Someday. . .

Someday, I will wrap up the TWO (count them, TWO) unfinished book projects in this blog, and maybe even finish some of the incomplete drafts of entries from long ago.

Someday, I will get a pet (probably a cat).

Someday, I will enter a Master's program, and maybe even a doctoral program. Who knows. . .

Someday, I will learn how to play guitar.

Someday, I will take the risk to implement changes that I know will not only improve my life, but those around me, no matter the cost.

Someday. . . someday. . . do you ever get tired of "someday"? I know I do. In fact, it becomes a major frustration in my life. The problem is that "someday" usually means "never", and that can be a hard thing to admit. Truthfully, we want to accomplish things. We want to make improvements in our lives and better ourselves. And we know that there are ways to do so. But when it comes down to it, it's easier to be lazy, to be complacent, to shy away at the first sign of challenge, to stay on the ground when we fall, etc. "Someday" allows us to hold onto the hope of change while never actually making us get around to doing anything about it. But to come up with an idea and follow through with it? That requires time. It requires patience. It requires that the inside changes, not the outside. Sometimes our someday's ride on the idea that external circumstances have to occur before we can even begin to achieve the someday, but I think the more important aspect is the internal attitude and perspective. And there's so much to get in the way of that- there's tons of things going on in life, and it's so easy to get caught up and off-guard.

I'm sick of seeing my own someday's continue to fall to the side. I'm tired of suppressing my convictions out of fear. I'm over getting worked up over something's and then letting them slowly deflate.


I want to start making my someday's into today's.




You know what's nice, though (in a semi-related note)? God's "someday" will come through.


One last statement, and I think it is very smart: "Never let the sense of failure corrupt your new action."

2/16/2011

God provides

Just a quick story, mostly for myself, because I need constant reminders that there is no reason to worry or not trust God.

I went out to my car Tuesday after school to find that it wouldn't start. Battery seemed to be fine (radio was working, as were interior lights and headlights) and there was no sound at all. When it's happened before there's at least been a click. But nothing. I know it wasn't of me, but I was pretty calm about the whole situation. A teacher friend drove me to DeLand, a church friend with car knowledge took me back up to see if he could possibly get the car working (unfortunately to no avail), then I went to rehearsal, and NOT in a bad mood (amazingly enough- again, definitely not my power).

However, the thoughts started coming: I'm a busy person. I'm slightly dependent on a car. I would rather not have to inconvenience someone(s) to keep schlepping me from place to place. I could really use a car.

And God provided it.

Another teacher friend left this evening to fly up to Ohio to visit her brother and is letting me borrow her car until mine gets fixed/she gets back.

Perfect.

His plan is always perfect.

"Why do you doubt, ye of little faith?" Seriously.



In an unrelated note, this passage stuck out to me the other night (might have even been last night) and I think there's a lot of good stuff in there.
Romans 12:9-13 - "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality."

I'm starting a new habit in my life. . . that's all I'll say for now. I may or may not say what it is in a future entry, but let's just say it is definitely related to those verses.

2/05/2011

Saturday morning thoughts

I've been struggling a bit in the past few weeks with a diversity of issues in the different sectors of my life, but finally today I realized what the true issue is.

I have been utterly and completely self-focused.

It is amazing how quickly worry about one thing starts to seep into everything else, and then all of the sudden, your entire life is poisoned by feeling that nothing will ever turn out and what's the point of it all anyway. I wasn't nearly that low by any means, but really, when I think about it, the only reason I have ever gotten there is because I think that I have to do it all. I have to get things done. I have to fill my needs. I have to make sure nothing goes wrong. I this, I that. . . I. . . I. . . what was I thinking??

It took two really simple realizations to get me to this point. First, God created the universe and everything in it. That doesn't even begin to be comprehensible. . . I mean, He knows and controls EVERYTHING. Everything from the movement of the planets to the growth of living things, if there is anyone who is an authority on what's going to happen next, it's God. Second, God created me. Me! He specifically gave me the attributes I have, both the good and the bad, and has engineered the circumstances for my life. Once again. . . who better to listen to and get to know than the Person who knows exactly what I need? I don't know what I need, because if I were the authority on my life, I would have been in TFA for the past year and a half. At the very least I definitely wouldn't have been in Florida. And yet look how perfectly things were set-up for me.

James 4:8a- "Come near to God and he will come near to you."


I love getting back-up from God. This is the "Scripture of the Day" I received in my e-mail this morning:

Job 33:4- "The Spirit of God had made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life."



Jesus is Lord. He's in control; He made the universe! He knows me; He made me! What do I have to worry about?

Now. . . to make this attitude stick. . .

2/01/2011

a short entry on having a short fuse (or a quick entry on being quick tempered)

It may surprise you but honestly, I have a pretty short temper. However, it usually takes something very specific to set me off; I'm not the type to get mad about little things, like bad drivers, having to wait in line at a store, inappropriate comments or getting put down, etc. But I AM the type who will get mad real quick about something to do with job ethics, illogical production decisions, or something else that I feel strongly about.

Today was a rare exception.

There wasn't any one thing that went wrong or set me off, but more an unfortunate piling of many small and stupid things that on a normal day, I would have shook off and dealt with just fine. But a few things happened at school (one having to do with changing my plans/curriculum (AGAIN, which is aggravating), other things student attitude related), so I left in a semi-bad mood. . . and then I was trying to nap, and I kept getting interrupted. . . and then I went to go to dinner with friends and my car was overheating (this was very close to the breaking point). . . and then I got lost on the way to a restaurant (because Google Maps HAD THE WRONG LOCATION. Let me take an aside here and say that I have absolutely no inherent sense of direction. I'm good at finding a place for the second time, but that first journey to ____________ is always a little stressful for me. On the flip side, I have a photographic memory, so if I look at a map, I'm usually OK. If the map is wrong, though, there is no hope), and the combination of stupid car and stupid being lost set me off on a rampage. I was absolutely furious. I was yelling in my car, punching the roof, just being completely ridiculous. And then I got home to shove some food in my face before my meeting/rehearsal and I tried to quickly download a file for tomorrow's lessons AND THE LINK WOULDN'T WORK.

Needless to say, I was over it all.

I was still steaming when I got to the annex. I had a little time to myself and started to calm myself down, trying to take my mind off the rest of the day (since I couldn't do anything about any of it at that moment anyway), and by the time rehearsal got started, I was in a better place (and rehearsal went well, so that's always helpful).

I just got home. . . maybe an hour ago, and I look back at the day, and I'm just sad that I got that worked up. I know that everything happens for a reason. I don't know why I allowed myself to become totally self-focused and upset by all those different things. I know I'm human, but I also know that I know better.

So I've decided that this is the lesson I was supposed to learn today:

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." -Philippians 4:4-8

In fact, I'm pretty sure I wrote about this before. It's a longer entry about peace. If only I had read it this morning- "'Our inner attitudes do not have to reflect our outer circumstances.' It's a matter of perspective."

Thanks for being there for me, Past me.

And now that I'm talking to myself, it's probably time to go to bed.

1/30/2011

a bunch of random thoughts

I don't know that there will be any real focus or continuity to any of this, so I apologize in advance.

First, at the end of this week, I'll have officially lived in Florida for a year and a half (18 months to the day).

As I got home this evening from a rather full Sunday (church, a HS Broadway review over in Daytona Beach, back to church for a business meeting, and then dinner with the "fam"), I decided I didn't want to spent the remainder of my evening in my apartment (even if it is quite a bit cleaned up again!), so I got in my car and went for a walk/run around Lake Victoria. I think deep in my heart, I am a country boy. I love the outside, and though I know absolutely nothing about gardening, farming, horses, or any such thing, I can imagine myself being very content living out in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of "empty" land all around. I enjoy my time in big cities, but that's mostly because a)anytime I've been to one I haven't had to drive in it (and couldn't ever imagine doing so- definitely not aggressive enough) and b)I'm fascinated by the large buildings, but I'm also somewhat intimidated by them.

ANYWAY.

I enjoy spending time outside, especially after dark or early in the morning. So it was nice to get out. I've been thinking a lot lately about where I used to be. . . who I used to be. . . and where and who I am now. . . and who I'm becoming. . . and I've come up with a few things. First, I've got to come to terms that I can't change what I've done in my life and realize that EVERY SINGLE THING that has happened has led me to the place I am at now. It was all part of God's perfect plan for my life. . . and He's still in control! If someone would have told me at the time that this is the life I would have, that these are the people that would become important in my life, that this is the job that was waiting for me. . . I would have laughed at whoever told me all of this! And now I can't help but laugh for joy at all the ways He has provided for me! Little things, big things, unexpected things. . . I can't tell you how many times I've gone to take care of some unexpected expense (doctor's bill, car issue, etc) and had the exact amount needed in my wallet or checking account. I can't explain how perfect the various people I've met down here have filled in gaps in my life and provided support/entertainment/encouragement and allowed me to also care about and for them.

Second, I'm still trying to figure out my place and role at the point I am at right now. I have no idea what's going to happen with many different areas, but you know, it doesn't really matter. Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing right now? Am I spending each day to it's fullest, staying near to God and submitting to His will rather than taking things in my own hands? Are the activities I choose to fill my life with just "filler" or am I making them meaningful/purposeful? Are my interactions with people glorifying God? Not always easy questions to answer, but I think they're all important.

Third, it's January and I can go outside in shorts. What??

Finally, I was looking at the sky this evening (one of the rare cloudy evenings I've noticed) and picked out Orion through the clouds. I really want to find a large empty field without a lot of artificial lights around and gaze at the stars some evening. The sky is so clear down here (again, most of the time), and though I'm forced by occupation to get up super early, I'm still a night owl on the inside.

So. . . what's my point in all this?

Well, this is my life.

1/26/2011

children's choir (. . . a week late)

TOTALLY DISTRACTED. I've spent an hour on this website and written. . . well, up to the asterisk.

I've been meaning to write this entry for a while, but life (and/or laziness. . . more later) has been getting in the way. So, I bring you back a week in my mind. . . .

We had a really good rehearsal in children's choir today. I was going back and thinking why that was so, and this is what I came up with:

-I had a good attitude about the music coming in (even if I didn't really like it at first).
-*I made the rehearsal a lot about music and developing musicality rather than just trying to make the kids happy with singing things they were interested. Best part? They listened and actually IMPROVED. (And they retained a lot of it through the week!)
-I held the kids to a high rehearsal standard just out of sheer purpose and hard work.

I love teaching kids through music. The equation doesn't work when that's out of balance, or when I throw myself/my preferences in there (I don't like this music, etc.). It's got to be about the kids, but it's got to be about the vehicle as well.

. . . that didn't sound as impressive as it felt, but trust me when I say they are good epiphanies, especially for this group. I want them to get a great experience learning about God and how to praise and worship Him through music. I know what impact it has had in my life. . . I wish I would have been more into singing at an earlier age/stuck with it after I "grew out" of the church musicals from MGBC.



In other news, I'm fighting a laziness/irresponsibility battle now, and not doing a good job of winning. I get a couple pyramids finally balanced, and out of nowhere a couple more start falling over again. Does life ever get to a point where everything is balanced, or at least pretty steady, so it doesn't feel like I'm always 3 steps behind and failing? I know I need to stop acting like I'm hopeless, and I also have decided that just because I'm frustrated doesn't mean I can't also be happy.

So the point of that is that I'm not unhappy, just frustrated.

Ah well. Psalm 90:17- "May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands."

Just gotta keep working.

1/08/2011

spiders, snakes, and scorpions

DISCLAIMER: Neither of these analogies are my brain children, but I ran across both of them last night and I wanted to share them, because I think they're pretty smart.

So, without further ado, spiders:



Creepy.

The story goes like this: a regular attendee to a prayer meeting says aloud the same prayer every night- "Lord, take care of the cobwebs in my life" (meaning, of course, those sins that seem to keep reappearing no matter how much or how often house cleaning gets done). Finally, one evening, after he says this prayer, another person in the room speaks up and says, "Lord, DON'T clean the cobwebs in his life. Kill the spider instead."
That is pretty smart. And how often do we act like that? "Lord, forgive my sins, but don't make me change the way I live." Although I doubt anyone would have the audacity to actually pray this, our attitudes often reflect this harsh statement. The symptoms are easily found, but too often we don't take the time to find the source, as this can be more of challenge. And sometimes, even when we find it, it can often be difficult to kill.
So, the challenge: think about the cobwebs in your life, and ask God to reveal to you the spider. Be prepared to search in some dark corners of your life. Then call on the Exterminator and have Him aid you in killing it.


And now, snakes:



And scorpions:



. . . sorry, I couldn't resist :)

This one stems from a parable straight out of the mouth of Jesus himself. The idea is that we need to ask for things from God, and He is happy to give them to us. However, the problem is that sometimes we think we are asking for fish or an egg, and we don't get it. Why? Because God knows that what we are actually asking for is a snake or a scorpion. And this is kind of neat- both fish and eggs provide sustenance. Both snakes and scorpions are capable (depending on the species, of course) to provide a poisonous death. The problem is that we sometimes don't realize that the things we ask for are really snakes in fish mail (to mix analogies). For all we know, the thing(s) we ask for might not be a part of His plan for us, even though we might be convinced about the apparent benefits of whatever it is.
So the challenge here is this: if you've been praying about something pretty consistently and feel like God is not giving you what you think you "need," ask God to show you if what you are asking for is a snake or a scorpion. God will provide; after all, He takes care of the birds and the flowers. That's not to say that anytime we don't get an immediate "yes" from God that it must be a "no," but it may be rather revealing if we start to actually submit to His will and seek to find the things in our life that conform to His plan, rather than thinking we know best and expecting God to be a gift-giving genie.

So there you go. Spiders, snakes, and scorpions.

1/01/2011

Year-in-Review: 2010 and NYRs

Instead of copying and pasting full entries, I'm just going to put links that summarize each month of this past year.

January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December

And some New Year's Resolutions! In no particular order. . .

-Make time for a daily devotional each night. Even in the really busy times, it is not fair for me to make excuses and avoid taking another 3-5 minutes to just stop and listen to what God wants to say to me. And I've found that those really busy weeks, I don't just skip one or two times, but the entire week, and then I get to the end of it wondering why everything feels so crazy, and then I realize my disconnect from the Head and proceed to hit myself in my own head.
-Exercise a few times a week. I know me and my schedule, and I know that if I say "I'm going to ______ everyday!" that that will never happen. Far too busy for a specific commitment in the realm of physical health. However, this gives me some freedom, because in my less busy weeks it will be easy to make time for it, and in my busier weeks I won't have the guilt factor of "I didn't do any real exercise (since I was busy for 17 hours today)." It's really more a commitment to making time for physical activity when possible.
-Finish "The Relationship Principles of Jesus" entries. That poor book has been sitting by my computer since this past summer. . . oops. I think I have about 11 or so entries to enter into the blog still. My bad.
-Clothe myself with love in all things. No excuses. There's never a reason not to be nice, no matter the situation. Breathe, and realize that God is there in all things and has planned all things.

I don't know when I'll start a new book project- that all depends on when I get the current (. . ."current") one completed.

Happy 2011!