Day 16- The Foundation Is Trust

Trust. . .it seems like a commodity sometimes. Society teaches us that we need to do whatever it takes to get to the top, which includes being untruthful. On the other side, its nice to be able to have those people whom you can talk with and not fear they will not listen or worse, abandon you after hearing you out. "'Let your "Yes" be "Yes" and your "No," "No"'"has such HUGE implications and practical applications. And coming from someone who generally makes some kind of direct statement but phrases it somewhat vaguely so that he's only kind of assert ideas, some of the time. . . you get my drift. That's me! A friend and I used to make fun of each other, because we both speak/write that way. You won't often hear me say "Yes" or "Certainly," but "alright" or "maybe" or "sure", which I think have a bit more of a noncommital (or not fully committed) connotation. Something for me to work on, for sure.

HAH. See what I did there? "For sure" is much more commital than "I guess," which is what I could have just as easily put. Definitely (I did it again!) a step in the right direction.

(Sorry. . . I think playing with band instruments all day has fried me)

There were four types of untruths discussed in this chapter. First are lies. Everyone does it. From embellishing a story to covering up an action to simply hiding trhuth, they come out of our lips quicker than we think. How do we stop? I think the first step is in seeing how this untruth has and will ruin relationships. If we have the final outcome rather than the immediate, we may want to think twice. We also have to train ourselves to think before we speak, and not be afraid to correct ourselves when a lie does slip out. Second is flattery. No one ever wants to offend anyone else, se we tell them what we think they want to hear. But what happens when someone finally tells them the truth? They are crushed, and we look real dumb. Third are broken promises. How often do we find promises made to us broken? And how do we usually feel when that happens? Now- how often do we break promises? If that's not motivation to either stop making empty promises or start seeing your words through to action, I don't know what is. Finally, we have silence. Interesting. I struggle with this. I tend to exist in my own world, not because I don't like people but because I don't mind spending time alone (the introvert in me). And sometimes I just don't feel like I have much to add to a discussion. I also prefer to listen, but communication is not a one way street.


Point to Ponder: You cannot have high-level communication without high-level trust.
You certainly aren't going to tell someone something important if you don't think they are going to handle such information in the correct way. You also should not expect to be privy to someone else's important stuff if you have not gained their trust (either because you haven't had the chance or because you lost it, either way).

Verse to Remember: Matthew 5:37- "Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one."
How easy it is to manipulate and be manipulated by responses that are unclear. There's all sorts of gray area, but if we are honest with ourselves, we generally know if we are going to do something or not. Of course life events happen, but we get too busy avoiding offending someone by declining instead of just being up front. That doesn't mean we have to offer explanation, but better to be truthful than deceitful (especially because we usually end up getting caught later anyway).

Question to Consider: Is the way in which I'm using my words eroding trust or building trust?
I think when I choose to speak, I'm usually not shooting my mouth off or talking about things/people that I have no business speaking of. Sometimes though I do think I come off as unreceptive, not because I avoid the subject or something like that, but because it just takes me some time to process information, so I don't always give an immediate response that is deeper than "Hmmm" or "that's interesting."