Day 21- Troubleshooting Communication

Great day. Long day, but great. What better way to spend a Sunday afternoon than to celebrate a cute two-year old's birthday though? Sure, there are probably many other things I could have been doing the day before I return to my regular school schedule (preplanning starts tomorrow! Summer is officially over), but I honestly can't think of any better way than to hang out at my "other home." I may have been there most of the day, but what "a small price to pay for what you get in return. For what you get in return, it's a steal" (Sports Night quote, btw. Probably you've never heard of it. I would be surprised if you did, actually). It's hard to resist helping out and spending time with people whom you enjoy being around and, well, love.

Ramble ramble ramble. Moral of the story: I don't really want to go to bed without blogging, so sorry if any of this doesn't make sense or if it seems a bit rushed.

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This chapter talks about five different problems in communication that Jesus ran across and how He handled them. He gave confident responses to criticism. It's so easy for us to fight back, to bite back, to become super defensive and to try and score a low blow on the offending party so as to make ourselves look better. If we can act and speak in truth, we both make the other person look foolish and dispel whatever criticism there is. Second, He offered proof in the face of doubt. It's encouraging to think that Jesus was doubted, even by His own disciples! Interesting idea, to focus on the other's need rather than on ourselves. We need to look into the reason the person is doubting before we decide on the action we want to take. Third, Jesus stayed silent when ridiculed. There's no reason to fan the flames of sarcasm or downright ridicule, and our Savior shows us the perfect answer- just let it be. Fourth, He used truth to get out of a tight spot. People often try to trap us in word games, manipulating what we said or setting us up for failure. Sometimes the best answer we can give is that of a perspective of truth, rather than manipulation. This both exposes the trap and turns the focus on the accusers rather than the accused. Finally, He left when rejected. Jesus was rejected by many people- why should we expect different, especially when we bear His message to them?! As humans, we want to run after them, we want to pursue them, but as the book points out, it becomes a vicious cycle, where the other person feels important because they are being chased, so they keep out of reach so that they can continue to hold that power over us. And how often do we fall into that? Instead, if we stand our ground and walk in faith, God may bring that person back to us in His own way and His own time (we have to be careful not to rush it). If we are secure in our relationship with Him, we start to realize how silly it is to pursue human acceptance, since that kind of acceptance even at its best pales in comparison to the love He has in store for us. We have to build those broken relationships on true change for both parties if we really want that reconciliation to come after rejection.

Point to Ponder: It takes courage to communicate.
I think there needs to be a modification to this: it takes courage to communicate honestly and lovingly. It's really easy to communicate to someone that you don't want anything to do with them. It's also really easy to lie (most of the time, anyway). But it's not so easy to ask for help. It's not easy to tell someone that they are messing something up in their life (much less figure out how to say that to them without setting yourself up to get a bloody lip or a black eye). It's not easy to say to someone, "I love you" (at least for me it isn't, which I suppose is a better problem than saying it too frequently and having it lose meaning, but still, I kind of make myself sad that a)I don't open up to the people whom God has put me in a position to be close to, people who I see frequently, and where His personal love is the reason for those relationships to have even come about in the first place, and b)I'm not always loving to those who I just run across from time to time and/or in random encounters).

Verse to Remember: Proverbs 18:21- "Death and life are in the power of the tongue."
And isn't it funny how easily the power of our tongue works for death rather than life? It's way easier to cut someone down than build them up, for a diversity of reasons. Mostly we have to remember that we are programmed that way, that evil really does come from our hearts as humans, and we need to take the split second to decide if what we are going to say will be for the good or bad of the person/people listening. Truly everything we speak can either help or hinder the kingdom, and sometimes we forget that our words do have that much weight.

Question to Consider: Is there someone who needs to hear you say. . . "I want to begin rebuilding trust"? "I forgive you"? "It's been way too long since we're talked"? "I recognize that my words reveal my heart"? "Honestly, this is what I want to share with you. . ."?
WHY ALL THE QUESTIONS?? Also, it's way funnier if you put each of the question marks inside the quotation marks. This is an indication that I need to go to bed.