All of the traveling discoveries

The past six weeks have been quite a ride. . . but also strange in a lot of ways.  Lots of fun, exciting, new things on the outside, lots of circles being walked around on the inside.  I haven't been despondent like I was last fall semester, but I also haven't completely recovered from that.  Definitely not where I was in the first part of 2017 (probably this is the closest thing to explain that), but it was those 5-6 months where I finally stepped out of the direct line of the suction away from real life, that place where you transition from 1st person living to 3rd person, the unattached objectivism of just trying to survive.  What I didn't realize is that stepping away from that didn't mean that the suction stopped- and I think I didn't realize that I've been slowing been drifting back towards it.  It was finally time I spent in New York that helped me get out of that.

But... I'll get to that.  Let me tell the stories chronologically, and hopefully concisely, because this will probably be a little longer than I would like.


SO: Right before I went to Belgium, I bought a new car.  I wasn't planning to, it had been at the back of my brain, but I went in for an oil change with yet another phone message from the dealership asking if I was interested in selling my car and getting a new one?  Two years of that, at least, and after the car fire, it sounded good.  But I owe money on the car!  How does that work?  So I went in and said "if you can give me a car with no down payment and no change in my car payment, then I'll gladly take a new car."

And they did.

The trade in value they assessed was $800 less than what I owed, and there was some promotion where the dealership had cash to put towards new cars, and so I walked out with a 2019 Kia Sorento. I also walked out with a pleasurable experience with the sales associate, who, at the end of our time together (which was probably all of 45 minutes, since I didn't need some crazy test drive and knew I wanted the same model car), said something to the effect of it's so nice to be around a pleasant person.  So many people come in here with horrible attitudes and leave angry even when they get a new car, so thank you. I couldn't help but think that, even in all the quagmire of inner wrestling, the hope of Christ still shines.

So a few days later I went to Belgium.  Well, I went and spent time with family between getting the car and flying out, but if I write about every single thing that happened, I might as well wait for NaNoWriMo.

Belgium was amazing.  My second time at performing internationally, which sounds ridiculous (like. . . who am I??), but both recitals for ClarinetFest went quite well.  We were lucky for the solo recital that we were in the conservatory, in a room built for performing, and that actually had air conditioning (as they were in a heat wave, so it was like. . . in the high 70s, so beautiful outside and slightly uncomfortable inside, depending on windows/cross-breeze).  The landscape was beautiful, we were right on the NW corner of the country, so sunrise was on the right of the pier at 5:30 AM and sunset was to the left of the pier at 10:30 PM.  The food, the environment, the weather, everything was great.  And Ostend is not a particularly touristy place, so we actually enjoyed having reasonable prices and not super busy streets.  Bruges was beautiful, and Brussels was also pretty but very touristy.  It would not have been impossible to go visit a bunch of places, but I really enjoyed staying in town and exploring what was there.  Maybe the small town mentality still in me.  I actually found a church service in English, which was nice.  The one thing I still dream about from the whole experience is the chocolate covered kumquats I found in one of the chocolate shops- they were probably the most unique and tastiest experience I had over the course of my time there.

Came back to Florida for a couple weeks, and then I drove up to Michigan to hang out with family.  My nephew is ridiculously big and ridiculously smart (no bias). It was nice to have some midwest summer lazy days, away from the heat, away from the hustle and bustle.  I also drove over to Oshawa for the weekend.  Kyle and I pretty much tied at mini golf, saved three dinosaurs at Jurassic Park, and just had a good time catching up over poutine (it's so good, you guys).  I got to walk around a city that, over a year ago, I wouldn't have given a thought, and I got to worship with people I find myself thinking of multiple times each month.  It was good to hear Jared preach, and to catch up with him and Jen.

Lots of driving hours later, I was back in Florida, to turn around 36 hours later to get on a plane to New York (technically New Jersey, I flew into Newark Airport).

I did not expect to react the way that I did.

It was incredible.  I spent most of a day walking around Manhattan, several hours of that just hanging out in Central Park, then spending a few hours in Brooklyn (where my AirBnB was located).  It probably sounds dumb, but I get it.  I understand why someone would want to move there, why so many aspiring performing artists set their goal and risk much to try and make it work.  The next day I met up with friends to go to the Met.  I love museums, I could have spent an entire day in there and still not have taken in everything.  That night I saw my first Broadway show- Waitress- and it was everything I thought it would be.  My only real complaint was the saccharine ending where everything got tied up in a neat little bow.  To be fair, apparently that's how the movie ends too, so at least they didn't just tack it on unnecessarily, but still.  There was such realness near the end of what was surprisingly comedic romp that I thought perhaps there would be a completely relatable end.

That night, and the next morning, I had a realization that came in the form of (what else) a song.  "Moment in the Woods."  I guess Moment in New York for me.  The realization that, yes, there are lots of things I could pursue, there are lots of opportunities, and realistically, I could up and change things for myself without too much trouble.

But I know better.

I've been in the pilot's seat for a little too long, and using the auto-pilot way too much.

It's time to take back second-in-command, and let the Holy Spirit lead.



There are lots more things to write about.  Callings, and plans, and living in the nebulous between present, past, and future. . . and I may have a chance to write more later this week.  But after a month or so of traveling, I can say one thing for sure-





I'm back.