where is the wind?

Mood swings.

I'm sure I've talked about them before.  But I think there are many people who may be facing them for the first time because of the situation coronavirus has put us in.  And sometimes just recognizing what's going on emotionally is what allows us to take the first steps forward instead of just stagnating.

Because the thing is, we don't have to let our emotions control us.  In the same breath we also have to understand that we don't have complete control over our emotions, especially in a time of crisis.  So instead, one thing we can do is redefine our approach to emotions- rather than seeing the emotions as inherently positive or negative, we can see that our response to emotions can be negative or positive.  Anger can be positive (like standing up for the rights of mistreated individuals); happiness can be negative (like rejoicing at the closure of a rival's business).

For me, there's some sadness this week.  I should have ran a half marathon last Saturday, and I had been training for several weeks before the virus shut everything down.  I should have been opening a cabaret tomorrow night, one of my favorite gigs because it's low time/high risk/high reward.  The magic of making music with old and new faces in a short period of time is unique and exciting and I miss it.  I could react to these both in a number of ways, but:

- I am choosing to recognize that God's timing of putting me in the midst of training put me in a good physical place to make a pretty seamless transition into a physically demanding job.

- I am choosing to see that I may be getting good at making boxes for people but I'm much better at making music with people.

- I am choosing to see the temporary nature of the situation and to both cherish the memories of what I have been able to experience and look forward with greater appreciation to the time where I will get to perform and collaborate again.

These choices don't make the sadness not sad- they make the sadness not negative.



The realm of the mind I think is also the realm of the spiritual. . . I don't have time to flesh all this out right now but these three passages (but particularly Romans 12:2) is the beginning of that conversation.

Galatians 5:16-24
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.  If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

Romans 12:1-2
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.  Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Ephesians 6:10-18a
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication.
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I don't know if I expressed it here or somewhere else or just internally but soon after all this corona stuff started, for a couple weeks, the phrase I kept coming back to was "yeah I've been through hard times but this is not inspiring me to overcome; this is just taking the wind out of my sails."

What I've realized over the past few days is that it wasn't the wind that was taken.  I had taken down my sails because the wind shifted.

My wife often said, "I feel God in the wind," enough so that I was gifted wind chimes after her death with a similar sentiment etched onto the paddle.  I am having to remind myself that there's so much more than the what-is-in-front-of-me.  There are no accidents and there are no coincidences.  There is some value in physical training but value for all things in godliness, both the present and the future (1 Tim 4:8).

So I'm putting my sails back up, because I know Who controls the winds and the sea.