Day 13: Worship That Pleases God

In honor of having officially taught an entire semester (18 weeks), I am making Dannielle's amazing oatmeal chocolate chip cookies :) and I'm snacking on pistachios, which are basically the best nut in the world (in taste and in positive health factors).

However, that means I'm going to have a TON of dishes to do. . . on top of the dirty ones already piled (LATER: I did the dishes, no complaints and no problem! Read the story below to find out more).

BUT:

I have been trying something new, thanks to PDL. I have been consciously changing my attitude towards things I dislike. Let me explain through an example. Tonight, I went to Wal-Mart (today was payday, and I had very little food in the apartment). I don't mind being in Wal-Mart when it's busy, since I'm a pretty laid-back shopper (mostly since I was a cashier; I understand what a busy line is like). But, as with many other things, the idea of having to put away groceries struck me as I was leaving the store.
And here's where something I haven't done before.
I told myself not to have that attitude. In fact, what I should be is thankful that a) I have a job that allows me to have the money to buy groceries, b)I have a Wal-Mart within a 10 minute drive, and c) I have the physical capabilities to walk through the store, drive a car, and carry groceries. And you know what? Putting away groceries felt like it took so much less time. Same with the dishes earlier tonight (meaning five minutes ago).

As I've said. . . I'm on my way. Little steps forward are still moving me in the direction I need to go.


Man. . . I'm tired. But onward I must forge! And I don't have to wake up at 5:30 tomorrow, so I'll be fine. This will probably just end up as another link-less entry for the time being.

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How often do we give God the leftovers? Whether it's money, time, or whatever else, it's like "what's left must be what He wanted to have anyway." No. No, no, no. I wish I were more of a morning person, because I would prefer to spend the morning with focused time on God rather than the end of the day (but if you know me, you know I have a hard time getting out of bed unless it's for something quite special. . . but does that mean that spending time with God isn't special? Hmmmm. . . personal challenge. I must reflect on this). I'm actually doing some budgeting tomorrow (part of my purging process; also on the purge list is to clean up my apartment, catch up on lesson plans, and set up my gradebook for the next set of students. And I *think* that's all I'm doing this weekend. You know, nice and relaxing weekend :-P) so I need to keep in mind that it's really His money and portion out expenses as such.

There are four characteristics of pleasing worship (I love the book's organizational techniques; it keeps me semi-focused). First is accuracy. We have to "worship in truth," which means we are worshipping God as He is, and not as how we want to think He could be. I know I'm still trying to figure out whatever aspects of Him I can with my limited human abilities, but I think my mental image of God is pretty much based on Scripture. I make comparisons to ways I see Him working in my life to things that happen in the Bible, rather than just using what I perceive (i before e, except after c. . . so I must have spelled that correctly).

Authenticity is the second attribute. My favorite statement from this section? "God-pleasing worship is deeply emotional and deeply doctrinal. We use both our hearts and our heads." I completely relate to this, especially as a musician. While I love "feeling" the music and getting caught up in the aesthetic, I get just as much enjoyment studying how and why music works. I can still remember the feeling I got from an hour long lesson on the Beethoven G major Fluteclock work I played on organ my last semester. Dr. Shrock and I spent an hour on a 2.5 minute piece, talking about all the different articulations and phrasing possibilities. We did something similar that semester with Schroeder's Op. 9, No. 1. Great opus of little pieces, and so wonderfully crafted! It's just as exciting for me to analyze music as it is to perform it (yep, I actually love score study, even if it's just for score study's sake, even though that never really happens since I'm likely to play, rehearse, or hear a live performance of the piece. . . anyway). I know I've felt that "aesthetic" aspect of worshipping God. I'm working on building the "analysis" and finding that I keep wanting to know more.

The book also talks about finding worship styles that suit your personality. One thing I really like about SBC is the varied services (I know I've talked about it before). And it talks about ways people draw near to God (I won't list them all). I find myself to be closest to a "sensate," meaning I love God through senses (smelling, seeing, tasting, smelling, and hearing, of course), but find other parts of the list apply to me as well (caregiver and intellectual probably comprise the top three with sensate, but sensate is definitely #1).

Third is having thoughtful worship. I just told my band students that if they're going to bother playing a note on their instrument, it had better be with intent, or why are they bothering? I think I need to ask myself that same thing when it comes to worship. And, if worship is a lifestyle. . . what an intersting concept. If I'm not living all parts of my life with the intent to please God, then what am I doing?

The last thing the book mentions is worship that is practical (I DIDN'T use "finally"!). The living sacrifice analogy has come up again, which makes me think that I need to think about it more and apply it consistently to my life. I like the "body" vs. "spirit" aspect. We are not called to just offer our spirit to worship (Love the Lord your God with all your soul) but with our body! We gotta be doing something with ourselves other than thinking positively about it. The last part in this chapter has started to convict me: ". . . worship takes effort and energy. It is not always convenient or comfortable, and sometimes worship is a sheer act of the will- a willing sacrifice." There are nights (like last night)where I'm so tired and/or busy that by the time I get into my bedroom, I just want to pass out. This is the major disadvantage to saving my "God-time" for the end of the day. Although it's nice to lay all my cares and prepare myself for sleep (and wow, has my insomnia decreased in major ways since I've gotten into this habit!), sometimes it takes SO MUCH WORK just to get myself to do it. Isn't it worth it though? I need to put that question on the wall above my bed.

And finally I wrap this chapter up-

Point to Ponder: God wants all of me.
I discovered another aspect of my life I need to work on giving over today. With the situation I have at my job, I am trying to make certain parts of it work with only my human strength, and some of those things are not working out. I gotta work on giving those over.

Verse to Remember: Mark 12:30- "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." New International Version
I always mess up the order of these four. I like the new(-ish. . . it's played on Z, so who knows how recent it really is? haha) song that basically just sings that verse over and over, with slight variations (I will serve my God is one of them). It's catchy, and has a great message.

. . .and it just came on. Thanks for the back up, God :)

Question to Consider: Which is more pleasing to God right now- my public worship or my private worship? What will I do about this?
I would have to say my private worship is flourishing, and while my public worship at church is great, there are still 6 other days of the week where I am not always (or even mostly) representing God yet. If you've read any of the past entries, you know some of the things I'm working on. The existence of this blog is part of it, too.

Alright, off to bed. Happy three day weekend (and purging)!