Day 19: Cultivating Community

Well, my brain feels less fuzzy after last night. Sometimes I just need to be brought out of my own bubble and keep remembering the bigger picture (see last night's entry). I think part of my problem is that I'm becoming discouraged again with my job. But I also have to remember all the great things that have come about because of it: 1)I actually have a job in the field that I want, and while I'm not quite saving money yet (I paid off my Christmas credit card bill) I'm not in the red, 2)the job brought me down to Florida and to the community of believers at SBC, which has been one of the best things that has happened in the move, 3)I have wonderful facilities and great support from staff and administration, 4)I know that God brought me here, and if I give this job over to God, He will do great things through me. I know that I still have a long way to mature in my faith, but that doesn't mean I should lose sight of the end goal: living a life of total worship and service. So easy to say, so easy to feel that way. . . but making it happen in this world? Not always so easy. I need lots of guidance and practical information.

So, keeping that in mind, let's see what PDL holds in store for us today.

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In the same way that prayer disconnected from action can be ineffective, fellowship without commitment is nothing. The Holy Spirit might connect us and bring us together, but once we're in that place, we then have to work at making it continue to happen. Look at these verses. Any relationship, be it one-on-one or with a group, needs more than just good intent. I think we all have been in relationships that fall apart because there is no contribution by at least one of the people involved. Sometimes it's familial, sometimes friendly, sometimes even mentoring type situations, but lack of devotion and care is always fatal. I think I'm going to check out 1 Timothy this evening (or later today at least; I've got ACB rehearsal again so it's going to be a long day). There are five (we're upgrading!) more qualities to creating true fellowship, so let's explore those a little.

First, we have to be honest. We've already seen authenticity, which is us being honest with others. This is talking about being honest to others about their lives. It can be so difficult to tell someone that they are doing something that is self-destructive or gloss over a problem they are having. We are told to speak the truth in love, with special attention to "truth" and "love." To be able to confront someone, it requires a whole lot of care and courage. So, you have to establish a relationship first (the love aspect) so that you will be able to "speak the truth" and help the other person out. After all, if you truly care about them, you don't want them to continue down a path that is harming them. When it's something physical, like alcoholism or drug addiction, it's a little easier to say, "Look, you are hurting yourself and out of control." It's the "intangible" sins, like lack of worship, covetousness, or lust, that prove very difficult to bring up and discuss, especially in our you-live-your-way-I'll-live-my-way society. Granted, with fellow Christians it should be easier, but I think it's a good thing to remember that, if we are approached by someone out of love, we need to listen. It's not easy, but it is necessary if we need that change to happen in our lives, which we ought to be concerned about (that is, getting rid of sin). And it brings us closer to the person who confronts us, that they care enough about us to see that we get the best out of our lives (and that they would take the risk of pushing us away by creating confrontation. Actually, I think there needs to be more confrontation in both the church and in society, but that's the social anarchist in me). The book does make a good point that being frank does not mean being rude. The Bible says that there's a proper time and way to do it. And, we are supposed to treat the person we are confronting as if they are a family member, because THEY ARE!

Second, we have to have humility. I know in the music world that egos do not make you attractive when dealing with the personal realm (fortunately for some people, auditions are often blind so that the best player gets the job, rather than the best all-around person. I'm not saying it shouldn't be that way, but still. . . just something to think about). There are four very good pieces of advice from the book about how to develop humility: admitting weakness, patience with others' weaknesses, openness to correction, and putting others in the spotlight. There's a perfect song for this (there's a perfect song for EVERY situation haha), but I can't recall it right now. It talks about how we aren't allowed to show weakness in today's world. PERFECT PEOPLE!!. Go check out the lyrics (or listen to Z-Radio. . . they're bound to play it at least 3 times throughout the day). Finally, a great quote: "Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less."

Third, community and fellowship need courtesy. Sometimes it's hard to love people who are different than us, and the more different they are, the harder it is for us to see that they were still created and loved by God. They still deserve to be treated with dignity, and their feelings about whatever is going on in their lives deserve validation from their Christian family. After all, we all have different strengths and weaknesses, and how are we to grow in our spiritual life if we don't have anyone to bounce ideas off of or learn from?

Fourth, there needs to be confidentiality. I remember one morning in SS, we were talking about "gossip prayer requests." The book talks about this very thing. We have to feel we can trust people in our fellowship to take our concerns to heart, but to keep them only within the group's knowledge base, unless we have revealed it publicly.

Finally, there must be frequency. We don't become close to people by seeing them once every month. At the very least, a couple times a week is needed to really get to know people. However, it requires "a lot of time" to build deep relationships. This is something I have to keep in mind, having moved 1,200 miles away from everyone I know. Yeah, I've found awesome people, but it'll still take time before I can have any deep relationships because it requires time for deep relationships to develop. Although I haven't disconnected myself from my MI contacts, and I often call people or talk to them online, I know that I need to build connections here too, especially if I'm going to be sticking around at Taylor for the next 8-10 years. YEARS. I can't even really fathom it (and right now, I'm pretty much still living day to day/week to week with my job).

(I just came up with a GREAT analogy for mallet players; it's like driving a car. The music is your windshield to the road, and the keyboard is the dashboard and mirrors. You gotta keep most of your focus on the road, but be constantly checking the dash and mirrors. I love analogies :D )

Point to Ponder: Community requires commitment.
Whether it's church, school band, drumline, whatever, this is true. You don't have a group of united people unless there's a common cause and committment from the members.

Verse to Remember: 1 John 3:16 "We understand what love is when we realize that Christ gave his life for us. That means we must give our lives for other believers." God's Word Translation
It's the same idea of giving non-believers the grace that has been given us; how can we not be treating our brothers and sisters in Christ with the love of God that we share?

Question to Consider: How can I help cultivate today the characteristics of real community in my small group and my church?
Well, as I've already said, I need myself to start opening up and getting more involved (emotionally or otherwise) in what's going on in my SS class. I can't be a part of the community happening if I don't throw myself into it. I know it takes time. But I still need to work on it.