Day 2: You Are Not an Accident

There was an image/object lesson I heard on Z Radio during my drive home yesterday that not-so-surprisingly related to the reading yesterday, but after all the rambling I forgot to mention it. It was something along the lines of getting a set of 6 dice and rolling them, getting the numbers all to match or line up perfectly (or something like that). The point was that the odds of rolling them in the EXACT way to get that EXACT arrangement is basically impossible. But, if we manually arrange the dice the way we want, then there's no chance involved, and we get it right the first time. In much the same way, God lined up the universe in the exact way it needed to be; it didn't just happen by a random, essentially impossible chance. And things are the way they are because HE MADE IT THAT WAY.

So, Day 2.

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Actually, the lesson above related well to this topic (probably the week's theme, too).

I think sometimes it's hard for us to understand that we don't understand. What did I just say? Well, what I mean is, if we believe in this all-knowing, all-powerful God, and we know he planned us from the beginning of whenever (yet another point of not knowing or being able to comprehend- how long did God exist before he created the universe? And what exactly prompted Him to do so? These are the types of questions that I love to imagine something like the opening of the Silmarillion), then how much is what we are doing really free-will? On the one side, I don't feel like I'm being controlled like a puppet by any means. I can type the letter "q" in quotations, and I don't think that that action was prompted, made, or in any way an action God wanted me to do. So then I start thinking about Calvinism and the whole predestination idea, and then my mind usually explodes. Again, to be a dork, the scene in the Silmarillion where Aule creates the Dwarves and Illuvatar grants them "freewill" instead of forcing them to be mentally linked to their creator (and therefore dooming Aule to an eternity of always keeping his mind on this one creation or the eventual death of the Dwarves from lack of ability to function on their own). So I guess it's kind of like that. . . I feel I'm getting off topic. Point being, I can accept that I was created at a specific time and have met people in life that I was supposed to meet, and have taken the opportunities that I am supposed to take, etc. etc. But again, it's like. . . how do I know then what choices are "right" and which are "wrong," especially if none of them are really "my" plan? Maybe that's why it's such a great thing to give one's life to God; He knows exactly what you are supposed to do. The great part then is that he doesn't force your hand, per se; I guess even though someone knows you are going to do something, that doesn't mean that they keep you from doing it, nor make you do it, but instead just let you do what you are going to do. I suppose it might be like watching someone eat dinner: you see the plate of food, you see the person holding the fork. You see the fork go into the food, and come up to the person's mouth, and at this point there is no doubt the next step is that the food will go in and be consumed (I suppose you could allow that the person is going to set the fork down, or choke, or randomly throw the utinsel and food away, but the difference between us and God is that He actually DOES know. We are only 99% sure). But we aren't making the other person eat. We don't control their muscles, or their thoughts, or anything. We can certainly influence them, talking to them or physically moving their hand/arm, but ultimately they make a choice and have an action to go with it.

I don't think that really explained anything. I'm just rambling. Back to the book. . .

I thought it was an interesting point when it said that God knows that the genetic make-up of our parents was exactly what was needed to make us the way we are. I feel too many people try to separate science and religion, and if you read the last entry, I feel (and always have) that they compliment each other. In fact, they do it perfectly.

"God never does anything accidentally, and he never makes mistakes. He has a reason for everything he creates." Go check out Psalm 104. "Just happened" to read it last night, right before I went to bed.

("Just happened" is my subtle way of saying "I don't believe in coincidences")

I think the best part is when it said that God created us to express his love. "God is love" is found in I John 4:8. God didn't need to create us; he wanted to, so that we could feel, share, and rejoice in that love. After all, love seems to be a pretty powerful thing in our world, as people do some pretty crazy things to get or show it.

I think, when I have time, I'm going to make links to all the Bible verses I put in this blog. I looked up how to make links in HTML, and (as you have observed) I have gone crazy with it :)

So here we are, nearing the end-

Point to Ponder: I am not an accident.
Really, depending on what's going on, this can be a powerfully encouraging statement. Like in LOTR (here we go again), when Gandalf tells Frodo that "Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, in which case you also were meant to have it." For me, it means that I was not *meant* to get a job with Teach For America, that I was not *meant* to live and work in Michigan, but that I was *meant* to find this position in Florida and move down to DeLand. And yes indeed, Gandalf, that is an encouraging thought.

Verse to Remember: Isaiah 44:2 "I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born." -Contemporary English Version
This is the "He formed us in the womb" verse, not to be confused with the "He knew us in the womb" verse from Jeremiah. Again, it's just kind of nice to know that we are not creatures of chance in a haphazard world, but creations of love put in specific situations.

Question to Consider: I konw that God uniquely created me. What areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?
This. . . this is a tough question. I'm going to go backwards.
In general, I'm happy with my physical appearance. Yes, I'm working out and trying to eat better since the move, but that's more to do with living healthily rather than trying to get a "beach bod." As a student of efficiency, I want my body to run at its optimum condition, right? The bags under my eyes could use some work, but who's fault is that, crazy accompanist who took ridiculous numbers of credit hours and ensembles and STILL found time to make friends? So I can't complain.

Background. . . strange question. However, being a WASP I haven't really suffered persecution for, well, anything. I'm happy being white (clearly, according to my dancing skillz) and since I've never been anything but, I don't know that I have anything more to say.

Personality. . . ay, there's the rub. I can live with the dorkiness, passion for music, and all around social awkwardness. It's the little guy in my head that "keeps my ego in check," which is code for "convinces me everything I am and do is worthless."
That may seem extreme, but a very small population knows exactly what I'm talking about.

It's funny, because that one personality flaw has become a point of contention time and time again between me and God. Why did He create me this way? What's the point of making someone with a mental defect that does not allow them to see the good in anything they do? And why should I serve or even talk to a God who has that as part of His master plan for me? Is it supposed to be some sick joke? These were the exact questions I came up with this summer, maybe a month before I got the interview to Florida.
Man, was I ever wrong.
The couple weeks surrounding my last birthday were some of the hardest I have ever lived. My head was filled with a nearly uncontrollable rage (and I'm lucky I didn't physically hurt myself or anyone else) and I was simply out of control. It's not easy to talk about nor to explain. . . but God had a plan, and saw me through to Florida. And here I am, finally getting my act together.


Weren't expecting to read that, were you? I don't know that I was planning on typing it. . . so maybe God did want me to type "q" earlier. . .