Day 26: Growing Through Temptation

PS (from yesterday): I just realized my desktop wallpaper is Romans 8:28.

I am looking forward to Saturday for a number of reasons. Don't get me wrong; the next couple days should be pretty easy (today I have an observation, but my activity is a group project so I don't have to do a ton of work, and Friday we're playing the Rhythmic Notation game, which is one of my favorite lessons and one of the few things that I brought with me from Western (MTNA to be exact. . . I wonder if that group even exists anymore. . .) and Friday night is a free concert by the Florida Worship Choir in Daytona, and they are premiering a musical (which is really cool), and some of our church members (including Reggie and Dan) are singing in it (which makes it even cooler). I was hoping to find a ride, not because I don't have a car, but I try to drive it only when necessary. I am thankful every morning I make it to school and every day that I arrive back home; there's some mystery problem, and I think it's transmission related, so yeah. . . enough of this parenthetical interruption). Saturday will be a nice day to regroup, take it easy physically (no cleaning or rehearsals or anything really; I might go see an Upward game or two), and reflect on the many many things that have been on my mind lately without the distractions of school and church. Sunday I have to miss the evening service (and the business meeting! :( I don't really know all that much about life and how the church functions, being that I am only 21 and this is my first church as an "adult," so I like to find out as much as possible) because there is a YES concert that afternoon. It's a semi-staged production of Verdi's "Rigoletto" in Daytona, but I have to drive out to Pierson and ride the bus as a chaperone. I won't be back in Deland until after 7 probably. . . but it is a great opportunity for my students to get some different cultural perspective, even if they don't understand the opera (which, it's a dark story and a little twisted, so that's not a bad thing).

In other news, my current 8th grade group actually seems interested in learning! . . . well, some of them anyway. It is a relief to not have to deal with constant chatter and disrespect (and the one student who gave me problems on Day 2 has officially transferred out of my class!). I don't know if they're afraid of me or just shy, or just a good combination of students. I'm thankful, whatever it is. In unhappy news, I fail at fundraising and am started to get annoyed with stuff being sent to me when I don't ask for it. I'm not talking about flyers or info sheets, I'm talking about BOXES OF FUNDRAISING KITS. I have a box right now in my office with 30 "prizes" in it for the top students; I don't even have 30 students to go out and fundraise!

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This chapter opens with a great quote from Martin Luther: "My temptations have been my masters in divinity." I am a huge proponent of "experience is the best teacher." In college I did everything I could, and then some. I tried to absorb everything about music I could (I should add that it was mostly music that I liked, but I like a lot of different things, and there's so much music in existence that 4 years is not enough time to get everything). I played in the marching and concert bands, accompanied like a crazy, CRAZY fool (everything from freshmen baritones/tenors to the entire flute and clarinet studio (or so it seemed) to musical theater sopranos to harpsichord in a small baroque ensemble to organ in "L'Orfeo" and for Mozart's "Exsultate Jubilate" with the USO), took classes I didn't have to (counterpoint was a BLAST, as was Musical Theater in America, but then again Music For the Special Student was a whole lot of fail), attended countless concerts and recitals (on average, I would say at least one a week, and 95% of the time it was great music/performances), even turned pages for performances (page turning is WAY stressful). I immersed myself not just in the study of music (although that also appeals to me) but in the MAKING of music. I don't see a reason that this can't apply to anything, including sanctification. What good does it do to read about how we should live our lives if we aren't actually living that way and being tested? How else do we grow??

(Man. . . I was insane in college, but I am thankful for all the experiences and at times miss parts of it, like the constant exposure to great performances)

The difference between life and college is that we don't always choose the courses (. . . get the pun? It's ok, take your time. . . got it? haha) that we will go down and learn from (NOW I bet you got it). But we have the best teacher: the Creator of the universe! Not only does He know the best way to teach us, but He also knows exactly what we need to learn! He is the ultimate Advisor for the college of Life (and should be the only one, if we're doing it right).

So, to get back to the book (and most of the reason I'm writing this blog anyway), we have to remember that temptation is not an opportunity for us to fail but an opportunity to choose to do good or bad. I love the idea that all our temptations are used to develop different fruits of the Spirit. In fact, by choosing to give in to temptation, we are usually doing an action that is the opposite of those fruits. We have to love the people that are the hardest for us to get along with. We have to be joyful even when things are bad (see yesterday's entry). Our sense of peace is about how we feel when things are chaotic, not when things are going fine. How do we know that we are "good" if we are never given the choice to be "bad"? Some day I'm going to examine each of the fruits and see how I'm doing in my own life.

There is a four-step formula which, when we know it, can help us stop ourselves from giving into temptation (which is step four). First, Satan finds a desire. Inherently sinful or not, temptation starts inside of us. A lot of people don't want to believe that; it would be nice if we were inherently innocent, and we could blame "the world" for corruptings us and pushing pushes those desires on us, but guess what? The Bible says evil comes from men's hearts. Is everything from our hearts evil? No, of course not. But I think if we all take a look at the list of things from those verses, we have had problems with at least one of the things there, and it wasn't because anyone made us feel that way. In fact, you can't make anyone else feel anything, because feelings are responses. You can try and elict a response through doing something, but ultimately there is something that happens inside a person, and that is under no one's control but the person. And then the person can choose how to react to the feeling. "You made me do it!" is the poorest excuse for anything that I can think of, because there are two steps and both are happening WITHIN THE USER.

And therefore "The Devil made me do it" is just as empty.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself. The second step in temptation is doubt. Satan wants us to think that sin isn't really wrong, or at least not all that wrong. Related is the third phase of deception. Thoughts like "I won't die from it. I can get away with it, because no one will know. It will solve my problems, or make my life feel better" ARE NOT TRUE. My favorite part from this chapter: "A little sin is like being a little pregnant; it will eventually show itself." Finally, after all that, we disobey and give in. BUT WE DO NOT HAVE TO! I think awareness of the process will help me as I face temptations. If we can recognize the steps as they are happening, it's way easier to intervene. The book gives a few suggestions.

First, we must refuse to be intimidated. Being tempted is not a sin. Wait. . . I need to say that again. Being tempted is NOT A SIN. In fact, having any desire is not a sin; it is whether you act on it or not! Some desires we should not act on, and if we do it is sin; others we should act on, and if we don't it is sin. Sin is not the feeling but what we do about it. The book makes a point about the difference between sexual attraction and lust. I think of envy. Even with our closest friends, there are sometimes great things that happen in their lives that, while you are happy for them, you wish would happen for you. Now, if we continue to think about it, brood, and covet, boom! Sin. But, if we take that opportunity to be thankful for what we have and seek contentment and not dwell on what we want but rather just be happy for said friend, boom! Growth.
(. . . I don't know why I used "boom!" I think it's because sometimes things just hit you like a brick wall)

This is great: "In one sense you can consider temptation a compliment." Satan hates what Christians are and do, and wants us to mess up and do everything to go against God's plans. And really, the closer we get to God, the more Satan wants to split that up. Satan has a target on all our church ministers and leaders, which is all the more reason to pray for them daily. It's already got to be tough enough, with everything that is required of the job, and then you have a supernatural force working against you? And I thought middle schoolers were bad.

(By the way, if you still think temptation is a sin, Jesus was tempted, and He is sinless. So stop arguing with me)

Second, we have to recognize our pattern of temptation. This seems to be another "duh!" moment, but I know that I have done some stupid things that have set me up for failure. If we use the journalists' questions (which, I don't know if it's a generation gap thing or a North/South thing or just a Pierson thing, but none of my students have been familiar with this terminology during any of my wheel classes. I'd love some insight on this) to examine the situations we put ourselves in (with temptation answering "what?"), most of us have very obvious patterns. For example, I drink when I hang out with _______ ("who?"). I go onto inappropriate websites when I feel ______ (either "why?" or "how (I feel)?"). I swear when I visit the ________ ("where?"). I usually do something bad at _________ AM/PM ("when?"). Saber is poder: knowledge is power. If we know we are likely to do something we shouldn't, we should avoid those situations. Just as a teacher does not set up his students to fail, we too should always try and set ourselves up for success. Enough problems will arise without us trying to get into trouble.

Finally, we have to request God's help. Again, seems like "no duh!" but when we examine our situations, we either want to give in to temptation or feel embarassed because we keep needing help over and over for the same thing. But God's love and patience endure forever (hallelujah! This is not something to be taken lightly, and definitely not taken advantage of). What we should be warned about is complacency; in fact, I would argue that if you are complacent about your reaction to temptation, you may want to check with whom you have aligned your life. If you are continually falling into temptation and doing nothing about it, you have got more problems than just the temptation. I speak from experience.

Point to Ponder: Every temptation is an opportunity to do good.
There has been a ton of teacher talk this entry, so to wrap it up: God, as our teacher, does not allow us to be tempted so that we will fail. We are tempted so that we will choose NOT to fail. But ultimately it's still up to us, the students.

Verse to Remember: James 1:12- "God blesses the people who patiently endure testing. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." New Living Translation
I know that God has been teaching me patience with a lot of things recently. The answer "wait" can be so frustrating, because we don't know if it is "Yes, but not now" or "No, but you can't see why yet." So, I have to start developing my trust legs (you know, like sea legs and land legs. . . or something like that. . .).

Question to Consider: What Christlike character quality can I develop by defeating the most common temptation I face?
. . . see above. Patience for sure, at least right now. I need to not rush into things and try and make them happen on my time (but it's also a delicate balance, because I can't just sit and think that God will make everything happen while I sit by inactive). I need to learn to listen to Him and trust His will, and take steps of faith when prompted, and ultimately be sure that everything I am doing is part of my worship.

I want to put up one last verse before I leave for the night. Tomorrow's chapter is also about temptation.